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Why Won't We Help Each Other Out?

Why Won't We Help Each Other Out?

What prompts us to ignore the distress of other people? We’ve all found ourselves in situations - the times we’ve seen someone taunted and didn’t intervene; when we’ve driven past a car that has broken down, assuming another driver would pull over to help. We’ve noticed a young man slumped on the pavement, and not gone over to check if he’s okay. We witness a problem; consider doing something, then respond by doing... nothing. Something holds us back. So why don’t we help in these situations? Apathy can immobilise us when we feel the impulse to flee and help at the...
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Drugs, Sex and Gay Clubs

Drugs, Sex and Gay Clubs

We are constantly being bombarded by messages telling us we all should expect better sex and we are not getting it right if our social life is not constantly hectic and we're not acquiring Facebook friends exponentially. In other words the pressure is on, to succeed. I first met Matt about eight months ago, and his story was certainly far from unfamiliar to me. I remember asking him what he wanted from counselling and how he felt it would help him? “ I want somebody who will understand me and where I am coming from, I don't want to be judged; just understood”! He...
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Imagine A World Without Trees?

Imagine A World Without Trees?

Can you imagine what your neighbourhood or this country would look like if there were no trees covering the countryside or dotted around our cities, towns or villages? In her novel The Twelve Tribes Of Hattie, author Ayana Mathis describes this scene perfectly when she writes, “ She smelled the absence of trees before she saw it…” There was a time in the past when the UK was covered in wild forests, where trees would live for up to 2000 years. Surely the ancient trees that have survived, who have worked so hard on our behalf, providing wood, habitat for animals and...
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Why You Should Sometimes Take Things For Granted

Why You Should Sometimes Take Things For Granted

If you were lucky, you got through your childhood with no major traumas, except for the odd domestic here and there. If you were one of these lucky people, your childhood was a time of taking things for granted; that your life was safe; that your parents were alive (and were going to stay that way forever); and that your home provided everything you needed.  This is likely to have provided you with a sense of abundance and safety. On balance, everything was probably going to be okay. If you are less lucky, your levels of resilience influence how secure and abundant...
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Rebozo Massage

Rebozo Massage

The Rebozo is a cotton shawl traditionally used in Mexico, but since it’s crossed the Atlantic, it is the hot new thing in massage. Are you familiar with the sensation of rocking in a hammock? Rebozo creates the same dreamy, drifting feeling but it is focused on particular areas of your body. There are two ways your therapist can use it: To release tension from back, hips neck and shoulders To wrap and hold to create a cocooned holding. What does Rebozo massage treat? It is a great treatment for any situation where safety is...
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Military Stress

Military Stress

I am a counsellor and psychotherapist with almost 30 years experience of working as a therapist. For the last 9 years I have been a full time therapist in an unusual environment for therapy - the welfare department of the Royal Navy and Royal Marines, situated at the naval base in Portsmouth. This has been a voyage of discovery for myself and the clients I have seen, chiefly because of the learning that has taken place - for me about the military ethos, and for my clients about the very concept of therapy that can seem very alien to a military mindset. Joining the...
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Chronic Fatigue Syndrome: An Invisible Illness

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome: An Invisible Illness

What’s it like to have an invisible, medically unexplained illness? Without using expletives, it’s like a barrage of attacks from every angle imaginable. It starts off with the internal, bodily and physical symptoms - constant exhaustion, persistent sore throat, brain fog, light, sound and smell sensitivity, muscle pain and weakness, sleep disturbance etcetera. The name ‘Chronic Fatigue Syndrome’ fails to articulate how debilitating the symptoms of this condition are, which is why there is constant debate over whether this is the correct label (people also use the term...
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How CBT Helped Me Change Bad Food Habits

How CBT Helped Me Change Bad Food Habits

In a recent blog, I shared what I have learnt about using food to combat my depression and anxiety. But knowing what you should eat won’t automatically cure you of bad food habits. Our attitude to food is as much about emotion as it is about satisfying hunger. Throughout my battle with the Black Dog I have tried many approaches – one of the more effective for me being Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. This involves retraining your brain to avoid patterns of negative thinking, replacing them with new more positive neural pathways. I tried to stop and judge what my...
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