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16Jun

Losing My Twins at 23 Weeks

Anonymous Therapist

bereavement, family, miscarriage

Therapists

Grief never really goes away completely. The best we can do is live at peace with the memories of our loss, or maybe even be lucky enough to derive nourishment and pleasure from them. But even if you reach such a hazy resolution in this way, it can re-emerge at full force when you least expect it to knock you down again. Or at least that's my experience of losing my two babies 12 years ago, born too early to survive in the world outside my womb. I'd had a time of it getting pregnant in the first place, with irregular menstrual cycles from polycystic ovary syndrome,...
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13Jun

The Psychology of a One-Night Stand

Terri Apter

LGBT, sex, single

Relationships

The stereotype of a one-night stand is a brutally selfish, egoistically satisfied male, and a woman shamed by regret and disappointment. Yet a memorable counter offensive was launched more than 40 years ago when Erica Jong, in her novel Fear of Flying, celebrated a female fantasy where “zippers fell away like rose petals, underwear blew off in one breath like dandelion fluff”. And, with the subsiding ecstasy, your partner melted away, freeing you both from embarrassment and commitment. For many men and women, this is the promise of a one-night stand.  The “zipless...
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11Jun

Beauty: What Lies Beneath the Makeup

Edyta Wanic

society, women

Soul

Inspired by the media coverage of the no-makeup selfie campaign by Cancer Research UK, I decided to research the influence of makeup on women’s lives by setting myself up as guinea pig for my student paper at the University of Warwick.   One day I went out barefaced and the next I wore noticeably more makeup than usual. How would I feel? And how would other people respond to me? I normally wear minimal makeup, but the idea of going out makeup-free even for a day made me feel uncomfortable.  I was concerned about looking unprofessional at work and...
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10Jun

Indian Head Massage

Kate Codrington

complementaryhealth, massage

Body

Head massage has been used for 1,000's of years in India for relaxation as well as playing a part in rituals and Ayurvedic healing. It makes a great treatment for anyone who spends their working life in front of a computer because it addresses the problems caused by our sedentary working habits. If you work at a desk you may be familiar with: Tension Headaches Sore shoulders Eye strain Lack of concentration Stress related overwhelm Muscle tension No wonder this flexible treatment has become ubiquitous. What happens in a...
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09Jun

How To Become A Better Listener

Jackee Holder

empathy, friendship, wellbeing

Soul

Our environments have become increasingly and worryingly noisier. We talk and text constantly on mobile phones.  It’s the norm to see couples and friends out eating and drinking, and everyone will have their heads down texting or tweeting, even whilst in conversation. So it’s not surprising that as our digital talk increases we’ve steadily become poorer listeners, not better ones. So how does one become a better listener and can you learn to listen well? We’ve become adept at a type of hearing which processes information through our own personal filters. Most...
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09Jun

"Breaking up is Hard To Do"

Susan Quilliam

couple, divorce, love, marriage, single

Therapists

The moment when we end a relationship - or have an ending thrust upon us - is almost always exquisitely painful. But of course it's not just the moment of break up that hurts. The aftermath, as we recover, is arguably just as painful not least because it lasts longer - sometimes for years. After the early 'phoney war' of feeling convinced that reconciliation is just around the corner, or of feeling relieved that the vicious arguments are now over, it is then that the long-term suffering begins. Yes, some of us 'keep calm and carry on', and parting...
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08Jun

Why We Shouldn't Try to be Perfect Mothers

Rachel Kelly

family, mother, motherhood, parenting, women

Relationships

‘Dear Sebastian,’ the letter began in a childish script. ‘Thank you very much for my Birthday Present. I love ‘Angelina Ballerina’ books. Love Yore God Daughter Eleanor’. I laughed. As any mother reading this will know, the likelihood that my husband Sebastian would have a) known it was his god-daughter’s birthday b) sent her a present and c) known that she liked Angelina Ballerina would have been as likely as me going six rounds at the pub. For the truth is, while women have made huge strides in the workplace, many men have not made commensurate progress at...
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07Jun

Couples Therapy: Taking Sides

Susanna Abse

couples, divorce, love, marriage, therapy

Relationships

Are people more embarrassed to say they’ve been to see a couple’s counsellor than an individual one? At least 110,000 people had couples therapy last year reports head of the Tavistock Centre for Couple Relationships
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06Jun

Losing My Identity: Sally Brampton

Sally Brampton

depression, identity

Soul

Quite recently, I lost my identity, which sounds rather careless given that I hadn't, until some days had passed, realised it was missing. It started with a phone call, one sunny morning. Something I had loved, and had spent years involved with in happy occupation, was taken away. It took all of three minutes. I put down the phone and looked around the room. Nothing had changed. Everything was still in its place. But everything had changed. Once I had dusted myself down, I shrugged and thought, "Well, that's that. Time to move on." I didn't take it...
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05Jun

The Beautiful Game and Depression

Lorne St

anxiety, depression, men, mensmentalhealth, society, suicide

Soul

Footballer Gary Speed, former captain-turned-manager of the Welsh national team, had movie star looks, a million pound mansion, a beautiful young wife and two sports-obsessed sons. He seemed to have the world at his feet. But three years ago he took his own life after an embittered battle with depression. With the World Cup in Brazil only days away it is easy to cloak our footballers with the super human strength of gladiators in Ancient Rome. However when the arena clears and the applause dies away, cases like Speed’s are sadly far from rare. A study carried out by...
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