Articles by Susan Quilliam

Will My Marriage Work?

Will My Marriage Work?

I would argue that marriage has never been so terrifying a decision. Why? Because it's now emotionally-weighted in a way it's never been before. Historically, marriage was largely seen as a practical if affectionate mating - for children, financial stability and practical support. Now, we believe it will deliver the perfect emotional security, acceptance, fulfilment and love that we once thought God - when we believed in Him - would deliver. So our expectations of marriage are huge, our demands of it immense, Where our great-grandparents saw marrying as a Good...
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"Breaking up is Hard To Do"

"Breaking up is Hard To Do"

The moment when we end a relationship - or have an ending thrust upon us - is almost always exquisitely painful. But of course it's not just the moment of break up that hurts. The aftermath, as we recover, is arguably just as painful not least because it lasts longer - sometimes for years. After the early 'phoney war' of feeling convinced that reconciliation is just around the corner, or of feeling relieved that the vicious arguments are now over, it is then that the long-term suffering begins. Yes, some of us 'keep calm and carry on', and parting...
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Online Dating - the Secrets to Success

Online Dating - the Secrets to Success

I'm a huge fan of online dating. I have several friends and many clients who have found love that way. And when it works, it works well; a recent study suggests that couples who meet online are more likely to move successfully through the infamous 'seven year breakpoint' than couples who meet in traditional ways. But online dating is often challenging. For many, the journey, however hopefully started, often becomes a yo-yo of frustration and self-doubt as well as excitement and hope. In my work I've come to recognise 'online dating disillusionment' when I see...
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