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    • Articles by Terri Apter

    Terri Apter

    Terri Apter

    Dr. Terri Apter is a psychologist, writer and Senior Tutor at Newnham College, Cambridge. Her books include Altered Loves, The Confident Child and Difficult Mothers.

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    Why We Need International Women's Day
    07Mar

    Why We Need International Women's Day
    Terri Apter
    men, society, women
    Soul
    Explanations of women’s under-representation in science, technology, engineering and maths (only 14% of women entering University choose science related subjects, compared to 39% of boys) are usually stacked up like layers on a wedding cake. The bottom layer, the stodgy foundation, is about “hard wiring”.  Fortunately, claiming that gender career segregation is down to differences in women’s and men’s brains is now high risk; though this claim has helped launch one Cambridge professor as a star, it has also brought down one Harvard president. Girls opt for...
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    Sex: Have You Ever Regretted The Night Before?
    05Dec

    Sex: Have You Ever Regretted The Night Before?
    Terri Apter
    men, sex, single, society, women
    Relationships
    Is there a topic more emotive, fraught and confused than sex and consent, versus sex and coercion? Impaled on the shameful histories of silencing women and violence against women, many solutions are value driven but goal blind.  How far will the recent call for explicit consent go in protecting women from being victims of rape and men from being perpetrators of rape? One in seven students who responded said that they had experienced serious physical or sexual assault at University. In an NUS survey conducted four years ago, one in seven students who...
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    Is Your Brain Male or Female?
    07Oct

    Is Your Brain Male or Female?
    Terri Apter
    men, society, women
    Mind
    BBC Horizon's recent programme, “Is your brain male or female?”  made a valiant yet narrow minded attempt at measure and reason. I offer this blog to anyone who remains as riled as I by Michael Mosley’s acceptance of Simon Baron-Cohen’s carefully paired claim that, “The male brain is predominantly hard-wired for understanding and building systems,” and, “The female brain is predominantly hard-wired for empathy.” The first evidence cluster is derived from animal behaviour.  For example, male great apes engage in more play fighting than female great apes, and...
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    Why You Shouldn't Ignore Your Biological Clock
    18Sep

    Why You Shouldn't Ignore Your Biological Clock
    Terri Apter
    health, women
    Body
    “Wanting a child” is a strangely mild phrase to cover a desire that can punch one in the gut, and leave a constant thrumming in one’s ears, hands and knees. It is warm and deliciously tactile, yet comparable to a war-like rage. Like an obscenely powerful hoover, it vacuums up your inner rational voice, leaving you reckless of loss, care and peace. But the inner rational voice fights back with reminders of easy delights, such as the day-to-day agency whereby it is you who decides where to go, and when.  At work or among friends, the clarion calls of careeer ambition...
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    We All Use Sexist Language, Women Too
    03Sep

    We All Use Sexist Language, Women Too
    Terri Apter
    men, society, women
    Relationships
    Adjectives have now become the scapegoat for a sexist culture - these naughty words are seen to be drenched in misogyny.  First “bossy” came under fire; now “feisty” is targeted. Forget feisty's positive meaning - apparently the fact that it is commonly used to describe women provides sufficient proof of bias and bad intent. When I went through the list of additional 'women only' words presented in The Telegraph Wonder Woman, I felt the frisson of easy recognition that often accompanies what psychologists call the 'confirmation bias': it is much easier to think...
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    The Psychology of a One-Night Stand
    13Jun

    The Psychology of a One-Night Stand
    Terri Apter
    LGBT, sex, single
    Relationships
    The stereotype of a one-night stand is a brutally selfish, egoistically satisfied male, and a woman shamed by regret and disappointment. Yet a memorable counter offensive was launched more than 40 years ago when Erica Jong, in her novel Fear of Flying, celebrated a female fantasy where “zippers fell away like rose petals, underwear blew off in one breath like dandelion fluff”. And, with the subsiding ecstasy, your partner melted away, freeing you both from embarrassment and commitment. For many men and women, this is the promise of a one-night stand.  The “zipless...
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    Understanding the Imposter Syndrome
    04Apr

    Understanding the Imposter Syndrome
    Terri Apter
    psychology
    Mind
    I first witnessed the disturbing force of the imposter syndrome while doing research on young people at the cusp of adulthood.  As they leave the family home and their long term friends for the wider world - either of higher education or employment – the familiar comparators shift, and with it, their comfortable place in the pecking order of peers.  The fear that your true ineptness will be exposed. In defence, some act like peacocks, displaying confidence to attract attention and mark status.  With lots of people around them also strutting their stuff, they may be taken in...
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    What Lena Dunham's Girls Can Teach Us About Female Friendships
    17Jan

    What Lena Dunham's Girls Can Teach Us About Female Friendships
    Terri Apter
    friendship, TV
    Soul
    In popular culture female friendships have often been portrayed either as giggly gossips or as catty and competitive, while girls (and women) themselves are on a quest for an ideal girlfriend - a soul mate who always understands them, with whom they share all intimate secrets and with whom they never argue. For giggly, think of the Sex and the City quartet doubled over in wicked laugher at the men they take to bed; for catty, think of Lady Edith doing her best to ruin Lady Mary’s chances for happiness in Downton Abbey, for the ideal, think of sweetness between...
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