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Coping with a Relationship Crisis

Coping with a Relationship Crisis

When you are going through a relationship crisis and you don't know if the relationship is over, or if you are in fact dealing with the ending of a relationship, it's an incredibly difficult time. You may find yourself struggling to cope emotionally, which of course has an impact on your ability to deal with day-to-day life. At such times, some people find they have trouble sleeping or eating, while others may start to over indulge with food as a way to stuff down the feelings and numb the pain. Some people start to drink more than usual to block out their...
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How to Become a Psychotherapist

How to Become a Psychotherapist

It took a while to get there, and by a rather circuitous route, but I count myself extremely lucky for having one of the best jobs I could imagine. I'm intellectually and emotionally challenged, with ongoing development and learning an essential part of my work. I'm my own boss, which allows me to structure my working week around other commitments. I work both alone and with a team, and I have a strong network of professional support. Every hour of each working day differs, and there is a range of directions in which my professional interests may steer me....
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Eating Disorders: A Deep-Rooted Problem

Eating Disorders: A Deep-Rooted Problem

Increasingly it seems that almost every woman has some sort of disordered relationship with food and it’s become quite rare for women I see in my therapy practice not to have issues with food and body image. It’s so common in our society that it seems almost normal. However diagnosed eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia are far more serious than the day-to-day preoccupation with food and weight that many women experience. Sophie contacted me in her late twenties, having had an eating disorder for over ten years. She had reached the point where she...
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Will My Marriage Work?

Will My Marriage Work?

I would argue that marriage has never been so terrifying a decision. Why? Because it's now emotionally-weighted in a way it's never been before. Historically, marriage was largely seen as a practical if affectionate mating - for children, financial stability and practical support. Now, we believe it will deliver the perfect emotional security, acceptance, fulfilment and love that we once thought God - when we believed in Him - would deliver. So our expectations of marriage are huge, our demands of it immense, Where our great-grandparents saw marrying as a Good...
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How To Deal With Anger

How To Deal With Anger

Anger isn’t a mental illness...but as anyone experiencing difficulties with the ‘the red mist’ will tell you, it can feel like it is.   ‘Dave’ is a man in his mid-thirties who began by informing me that his anger issues go back to his mid-childhood. As he matured and advanced in his career however, their impact upon his life seemed to reduce. Something was now changing for Dave, however, and he wanted help to understand why. The techniques Dave had developed for managing his anger were becoming much less effective. His relationship with his wife was making...
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Is Masculinity A Cultural Myth?

Is Masculinity A Cultural Myth?

In my role as a counsellor I was working with a boy who had just had his 10th birthday, I asked him what did that feel like? His reply had a stereotypical ring to it which was almost chilling: “I am a man now”. There it was laid out before me; the role of being a MAN, soon to be joined by all the traditional expectations that come with that role. “Take it on the chin; No pain, no gain; Act like a man; Are you a man or a mouse”? We have all heard them so often but do we really appreciate the damage these expectations can have on that young man of 10? A Persistent...
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