Read our posts about therapists

Getting to Know Your Genitals

Getting to Know Your Genitals

As a psychosexual therapist I often deliver sexuality and sexual education workshops to the wider public, and I have delivered many training days to male, female and mixed gender groups.  The groups consist of people of all ages - ranging from as young as 16, to over 70 years old – which gives me insight into a wide array of thoughts and viewpoints. One of the topics which surfaces frequently, is the different relationship men and women have with their genitals.  Of course, there is a big difference between the sexes ... in males, genitals are external and boys from...
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Enduring Heartache

Enduring Heartache

"If you are the one who is dumped, then you feel like your life is over"  Sitting in our session, I listened to my young client whose partner had recently left her. She was sobbing and could barely speak.  ‘I feel like a useless piece of rubbish.  He’s having a new life and I’m left behind.  It would be easier if he was dead!’. Her words hung in the air and later I found myself thinking about them.  I understood what she was trying to convey.  If her partner had died, she would be in deep grief but she wouldn’t have experienced his death as a personal rejection....
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Coping with Painful Anniversaries

Coping with Painful Anniversaries

Anniversaries are generally considered to be celebrations, marking events, people, places and times that we have loved and enjoyed. They bring us into contact with memories we wish to retain and relive such as birthdays, graduations and weddings to name but a few. Anniversaries have a place the world over, in culture, religion, history and society. But what happens when anniversaries become difficult? In my work as a psychotherapist I have come to believe that the reason some anniversaries are difficult is two-fold. Firstly these anniversaries act as a type of...
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How to Choose a Therapist

How to Choose a Therapist

I have to admit that simply following your intuition and inclination is not such a bad way to go. This is particularly true if you know a fair bit about therapy, such as the various different approaches. It is even more of an option if you have a clear sense of what you want to achieve in therapy. But what if you want to approach this question more systematically? Let’s work through a few variables that, from my experience, people contemplating therapy are concerned about. Age I have never heard of anyone saying ‘I really want a very young therapist’. This is...
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How Couples Counselling Deals With Affairs

How Couples Counselling Deals With Affairs

As part of the BACP (British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy) requirements for Continuous Professional Development, I recently attended a training course on Affairs and their impact on the couple relationship. It was a fascinating course with therapists from different cultures, training and moral values. Affairs are always a controversial subject, often touching both therapists and clients deeply and on a personal level. A quarter of couples coming for relationship counselling present an extramarital affair as their reason for seeking counselling. A...
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Who Does What? Talking Therapies Explained

Who Does What? Talking Therapies Explained

'Shrinks' come in various guises, but understanding what type of practitioner they are may help to make more sense of the work they do. Counselling or psychotherapy? First off, you may wonder about the difference between counselling and psychotherapy. Even the professionals aren't agreed on a definitive distinction, as both involve talking to someone who is trained to listen and respond in appropriate and helpful ways. However, generally, counselling deals with a specific issue over a short period of time (‘goal-oriented’), while psychotherapy tends to work...
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What Do Therapists Wear?

What Do Therapists Wear?

What we wear says a lot about us. That can be unfortunate for therapists when trying to let their clients do the talking. It can affect how people see you, whether they trust you and how much they're prepared to open up. So how does a therapist choose the right outfit?The respected psychoanalyst and psychologist, Peter Hobson, says in his new book, Consultations in Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy, that he always puts on a tie to meet a potential patient as “symbolic acknowledgement that, however intimate, this is a meeting within a formal framework” and to underline that his...
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What is Trauma?

What is Trauma?

Trauma happens just as sure as life happens. We can be happily bumbling along one minute and the next, reeling from the shock of an unexpected event. Trauma is a deeply distressing experience that leaves you feeling overwhelmed, helpless, hopeless, angry and scared. Many people describe a huge sense of loss following a traumatic event. Trauma affects both the mind and body, resulting in a set of symptoms, that continue long after the event has ended. The effects of a traumatic experience can seep through families, friends, colleagues and neighbourhoods leaving a trail of...
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Beat Blue Monday

Beat Blue Monday

As if Mondays didn’t always get a bad press for being the most miserable day of the week, now apparently we need to be alert for the fact that today is Blue Monday – the most depressing day of the year. Although not actually proven by science, anecdotally it would seem that the perfect storm of bad weather, post-Christmas family angst, a flurry of credit card statements, and the dawning realisation that we’re wobbling on our New Year’s resolutions, can make even the most glass-half-full person feel bleak. To some extent, the idea of one day of the year being worse than...
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