Don't Let Negative Self-Talk Hold You Back from Fulfilment
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The reasons we hold ourselves back from following our passion can be numerous and powerful
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Coach Gray Hughes shares the simple processes that helped him find clarity on his desires
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We all have a passion but we don't always know what it is. Your passion is your gift to the world but you may have forgotten or suppressed it.
Perhaps you lacked the courage to follow your heart and turn your dreams into reality, or you based your choices on what you thought was expected of you. It's all too easy for us to accept our paradigm rather than embarking on a new journey. That's why finding your passion in life can be challenging.
It's all too easy to find excuses why we can't do something, to complain about what we don't enjoy, but learning how to find your passion in life and fulfil purpose takes courage – and just a little bit of self-love.
How negative thoughts can prevent you from finding your passion in life
Our thoughts are outside of our control, they come and go of their own accord. We don't choose them, rather they choose us.
What is within our control is how we respond to them. We can allow them to influence us or we can just watch them go by. We can feed them or just ignore them. We have the gift of discernment and the freedom to choose.
So when a negative thought comes to mind, something like: "I don't deserve to be happy in my work so I have do something joyless just to pay the bills", why would we pay attention, thereby disempowering ourselves?
Thoughts like "I can't do that because..." followed by a list of reasons can hold us back as surely as chains, but they aren't real, they are just thoughts.
"Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they're yours", wrote Richard Bach in his book Illusions.
Have you denied your passion, not believing deep down that you are worthy of it? Who told you that you are not good enough or that you don' t deserve to do what you love? Was it true? Is it true now?
Here's the process that helped me find clarity, see what was holding me back and start living my dream.
Go deep into the body to find your truth
While the voice of the heart says one thing, your brain might have other ideas, often based on fear, lack and scarcity and your gut-feel may be contradicted by logic.
The question is: which voice will you listen to? Quiet reflection, space, time and focusing deep into the feeling will reveal the answer, for there the truth lies.
Why? Because passion is an emotion that you just can't miss! Passion is inextricably linked with pure joy and whilst merely thinking about our passion is enough to affect our emotions, the acid test is actually doing it. When we actively live our passion and fulfil our purpose, we feed our soul and doing what we love makes us shine, we extend ourselves, we soar like an eagle.
Once you start living your dream, your whole demeanour changes and your passion is infectious. You feel lighter, your life flows more easily, your path is clearer, you intuitively know what to do next as the pieces of your personal jigsaw start falling into place. 'Aha!' moments abound and decisions become easier as intuition and synchronicity light up the way ahead.
Clarity is the gateway to finding your passion in life
For five consecutive days ditch reality for fantasy. Pretend there are no limits to what you can achieve even if it seems impossible.
Do the five steps of this process one day at a time to allow your deep, unconscious desires to rise slowly to the surface.
- Imagine how fantastic it would be if...
- Believe in miracles and brainstorm what you would wish for
- Research some of your initial ideas and see what sticks
- Feel into your heart and gut to see which one is inspiring just for the sheer joy of it
- Imagine you have to choose today, which one would make you think 'YES'
The three Cs: simple steps to passion, purpose and performance
- Consciousness: Have a candid conversation with yourself about your current frustrations and aspirations. Challenge your version of your life to highlight previously unconscious thought patterns including negative beliefs and limiting narratives.
- Clarity: Free of these constraints, fresh insight then empowers you to bust the paradigm which seems to have kept you trapped, so that you can find and embrace your passion. It also promotes purpose and momentum to create the steps which will lead to your vision.
- Commitment: Hold yourself accountable to a friend, family member, work colleague [or maybe a life coach] for implementing the action plans which you yourself create.
Try the five days of clarity and the three Cs method to help you break the paradigm, empower yourself, find your passion in life, fulfil purpose and get from where you are now to where you want to be.
Gray Hughes is a verified Welldoing coach
