• Anxiety and its related symptoms can be overwhelming

  • Coach Tara Jackson shares her personal experience of anxiety and the changes she made to feel better

  • We have therapists who can support you with anxiety – find them here


I don’t know how I managed to get on to the Tube, across London, and out the other side, but I had. 

I had never felt like this before. My stomach was in my throat, and in its place was a gaping dark hole that felt like it would swallow me whole if I got too close. Tears were welling, I wasn’t sure how much longer I could hold them down. My hands and legs were a combination of shaky and sweaty, and I wasn’t sure I would even make it to the office from the tube station.

I was already late for work. I knew I had to get there as I had no actual reason for not being there. I could have called in sick, but what would I say. I didn’t feel like myself. I felt nervous, weird, all over the place. Nobody would believe me. So I had got myself to the office.

In the reception area I took a moment to gather myself. But I just kept feeling worse. My breathing was getting shorter. The tears couldn’t be contained anymore. I called a friend (and colleague) to come and help me. 

She did. We sat together for a while and I just knew I couldn’t go in. There was no way I could hide what I was feeling and get on with my work to-do list. This was unlike anything I had ever felt before. I knew I had to take the day for myself.

So I chose to do that. My friend let one of the bosses know that I wouldn’t be coming in. I simply couldn’t make it in. Neither of us knew how to explain what was going on. Mental health was still considered in black and white, and unless you were clinically depressed or had PTSD from a war zone, you were okay! 

My decision to leave was not taken well. 

I felt like I had to make up for this ‘poor choice in judgement’ for weeks. I felt like something was wrong with me. I felt like I couldn’t trust my body. I felt like I couldn’t be honest about how I felt.

I continued to get feelings of anxiety for years after, not to the extent of what I felt that day and now know was likely a panic attack. But, I never shared my feelings with anyone for over a decade. I would pray I wouldn’t feel them if I had to be around others. I would cry in the bathroom if they came at work. I felt like I had to be the one to help myself, so I did.

I began to make some lifestyle changes. 

  • I learned how to gently hold and release feelings of anxiety with breathwork, visualisations and meditation

  • I cut down on drinking alcohol, which always impacted my anxiety especially in the days after drinking

  • I ate more fruits and vegetables, less processed sugar, and committed to regularly moving my body

  • I began a regular creative practice, of painting and drawing


Whilst I learned that I could manage my anxiety through small lifestyle changes, at its root it was deeply tied into what I was doing with my life. Be-friending my anxiety, and seeing it as a message from my body that I needed to lean into (no matter how uncomfortable it felt), is what really made a difference.

As I did this I opened up to my creative self even more. I began to change what I was doing with my life, slowly shifting to become a freelancer and eventually start my own business. I created a life that suited my highly sensitive needs. I created a business that leaned into the things I love doing and being.

I now recognise the gift in my anxiety, and have learned to lean in and listen when it occasionally comes to ‘speak’ to me.

If you struggle with anxiety please reach out to someone you trust. 

I have also recorded a guided visualisation to begin to hold and get to know your anxiety, which you can access for free here.

Tara Jackson is a creativity coach for leaders 


Further reading

To my client who has anxiety

Do we spend too much time trying to control our thoughts?

Managing anxiety in times of global crisis

3 strategies if avoidance is your coping strategy for anxiety