Meet the Coach: Louisa MacInnes
Louisa MacInnes is a sex and relationship coach in London and online
What attracted you to become a coach?
I love connecting with people and supporting them to find their truth, so coaching is a perfect fit for this.
Where did you train?
I trained first at Sex Coach University, gaining certification in sex coaching and clinical sexology, before then going on to train in Sexological Bodywork through the Sea School of Embodiment in Devon.
What kind of coaching do you offer?
I offer sex and relationship coaching for individuals and couples, combining talk (‘mind’) based coaching with somatic (‘body’) based exercises. My coaching does not include physical contact between coach and client.
How does coaching help people with sex and relationship concerns?
By offering a supportive, non-judgemental space to be honest about and identify what is troubling them, and to receive a combination of compassionate understanding and practical support to help move them towards a happier, healthier relationship with themselves and each other.
What sort of coaching clients do you usually see?
Probably a 60/40 split between couples wishing to overcome challenges within long-term relationships, and individual women wishing to develop a deeper, more empowered, and authentic connection to their sexual selves.
Do you ever suggest books or other materials to clients?
Yes! A big part of my work is recommending resources and referring out to one (or many!) of the gazillion books I have in my personal library, to apps such as Dipsea or Kama or Headspace, to Ted Talks (Esther Perel’s talk on Maintaining Desire on Long Term Relationships’ being an absolute favourite), to sex toy recommendations, to other therapists/ bodyworkers. The list goes on and on. I love sharing this kind of stuff.
What do you like about being a coach?
I love connecting with my clients and providing them with a space to be seen, heard and supported with total non-judgement and compassion. I love witnessing their growth, celebrating their discoveries and supporting them when the going gets tough. I love the fact that being a coach connects me on a daily basis to my key values of authenticity, connection and growth – and encourages others to do the same.
What is less pleasant?
Having to manage the adminny parts of running my own business!
What is one life lesson you try to live by?
Treat others as you would like to be treated.
What do you wish people knew about coaching?
That there doesn’t always need to be a ‘Problem’ with a capital P for coaching to be beneficial.
For example, sex and relationship coaching can be great for optimising an already OK sex life, deepening an already fantastic relationship, learning about more things to add to your sexual menu, or discovering a part of yourself you didn’t know existed! That said, it can also be a fantastic way to overcome more sticky challenges of shame, anxiety and low confidence without necessarily needing to see a therapist.
Do you have a favourite client testimonial or particular success story?
I had a lovely female client who came to me feeling (in her words) “a bundle of negative emotions” – about the lack of sexual connection in her marriage, her own sexual self and needs, and the challenges of communicating this to her partner.
At the conclusion of our work together, she wrote to say “I now have a totally new and positive perspective on the most personal things in my life. I feel empowered – and that’s thanks to your honest, sensitive and professional approach” .. and again, a few months later, a text to say “just wanted to touch base to let you know all your coaching is paying off, the lockdown has reignited our sex life! Whoop! Back in business, baby!”
I love this as it shows two things:
- The positive ripple effects of individual, 1:1 coaching on existing (or future) relationships
- The value of personal accountability and commitment to ‘doing the work’ between sessions, and even after they have concluded.
