Dr Ibrahim Ndabavunye is an online clinical psychologist


What attracted you to become a therapist?

From a young age, others came to me for advice, encouragement and uplifting. As I grew up, I found myself extremely good at it. I finished my BA and master’s degree in the School of Psychology and worked with kids who were having problems at school.  These kids talked to me since day one and they made amazing progress on their goals with schools but I didn't know everything. So I followed my dreams and ambitions to study in Belgium. During my studies, I focused on the hidden effects of childhood trauma and its impacts on the life of the child or adult who has experienced it in many ways. 

My work as a therapist is to help my clients understand that all the difficulties they may experience can be linked to their early life experiences or difficulties life events which can have a huge impact on how they feel about themselves, their relationships with others and overall wellbeing. 

 

Where did you train? 

I trained at the National University of Rwanda where I obtained a Bachelor degree in Psychology and Education Sciences and Masters degree at the School of Psychology. Then I continued my studies at the Catholic University of Louvain in Belgium where I got a Masters and a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology. 


Can you tell us about the type of therapy you practise?

As a clinical psychologist I have completed an in-depth evidence-based doctoral training meaning I can use an integrative approach to therapy, drawing on cognitive behavioural therapy, person-centred therapy, trauma focused CBT, acceptance and commitment therapy, compassion focused approaches, psychodynamic therapy, somatic therapy and the third waves of CBT such as mindfulness, breathing and relaxation techniques to inform my practice. 

For clients, adopting an integrative therapy means that I can draw from many different therapeutic models and my experience allows me to be flexible and use the model that is right for my client, ensuring that therapy is a positive and creative experience for you, delivered in a professional and supportive manner.


How does your type of therapy help with symptoms of mental ill health?

One of the approaches I use in my private practice is ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy) to help individuals with anxiety and depression. ACT helps individuals learn to accept their difficult thoughts and feelings and physical sensations in the body instead of trying to avoid or control them. This can be particularly helpful for those struggling with anxiety or depression, as these conditions can be characterised by a tendency to avoid certain situations or experiences.

ACT can be an effective treatment for chronic pain as well. With this approach, clients learn to accept the pain and focus on what they value in life, individuals can improve their overall quality of life and reduce their suffering.

In case of relationship problems, ACT can help individuals learn to communicate more effectively, set boundaries, and show empathy toward others. These skills can be helpful in improving all types of relationships, including romantic relationships, friendships, and family relationships. In summary, ACT can be beneficial in a wide range of situations, but it may be especially helpful for managing anxiety and depression, coping with chronic pain, enhancing personal growth, and improving relationships. 


What sort of people do you usually see?

I mainly work with adults over the age of 18 for individual therapy. I work with a range of presenting issues such as stress, anxiety, burn out, low mood, depression, work related stress, panic attacks, phobias, trauma, post-traumatic stress disorders, relationship difficulties, low self-esteem, adjustment difficulties, coping with transition and life change, bereavement, chronic health issues. I will help people heal from their past emotional and physical experiences and change unhelpful patterns so that they can feel more confident, reach their goals and be more like the person they want to be at home, in their relationships and/or at work. I have a longstanding interest in the relationship between physical health and psychological health. I also work with unexplained medical symptoms and somatic complaints. 


Have you noticed any recent mental health trends or wider changes in attitude?

While I was training, talking about mental health was taboo. Nowadays, mental health has been depicted more empathetically, focusing on holistic portrayals. This gradual shift has brought about more public understanding, lessening stigma and encouraging individuals to seek professional help, thereby promoting mental health conversations and normalisation. More mental health disorders have been identified and people are getting help.

However, on the other hand, we live in a society which is far more challenging to be healthy (physically and emotionally) than ever before. Things are changing, and life isn’t a walk in the park. It never was, but it was far easier in many ways one or two generations back. Young people or young families today face challenges that older generations didn’t. Once upon a time, a single normal workers’ salary was enough to easily pay for an entire family, buy a house, go on holiday… Nowadays even with both parents working full-time, many struggle. Costs rise, salaries have not risen even remotely as much.

So, life is far more stressful, people are worried, anxious, depressed and scared, mental health issues are on the rise.


What do you like about being a therapist?

It feels very good to be a therapist when I feel like I am helping someone. The nature of the work I do has a lot of human intimacy to it. Clients tell me the things they haven’t told, and perhaps wouldn’t be willing to tell, any other human being. The relationship is bound by a sacred trust and confidentiality. The reason why I feel honoured to be able to work with people in this way and have a helping relationship with them.


What is less pleasant?

It is frustrating when I haven’t been able to help my client. This could be about the limitations of my skill, my inability to see or understand something. It could also be about the client perhaps feeling it is not safe to change (such as contemplating leaving a domestic violence situation). It also could be that the client is not ready for things to change at that time. When I have felt stuck or like I am not helping, I work with the client to think about what we can do to be more effective together. For these reasons, I will consult with a clinical team or seek supervision I work with to see what input they may have about how to help more effectively. 


How long have you been with Welldoing and what you think of us? 

I am new to Welldoing, so I am curious about what I will get from the platform in terms of income and personal development.


What books have been important to you in terms of your professional and personal development? Do you ever recommend books to clients? 


I am always recommending books and podcasts to my clients! For my own professional development, I would mention the following:


For my clients, I recommend these two:


What you do for your own mental health? 

Over the course of my career, I have learnt the importance of taking care of myself. I now know that if I am an empty cup, I’ll not be pouring for anyone else. I spend a lot of time on self-care every single day. For me, I do the following activities on a daily basis:

  1. Exercise: I walk an average of 2 miles every day. I give 30 minutes every evening to stretch different muscle groups of my body. It is not only to combat stress but to manage the chronic pain I have been struggling with.

  2. Diet: Taking time to cook my meals, balancing protein and plants and cutting out sugar as much as possible.

  3. Sleep: 7 hours is a must for my body.

  4. Mindfulness: Allowing my thoughts to flow freely as I observe them, acknowledging hardships and practicing self-compassion. This is key to my emotional health. I notice my stress levels going up when I miss this practice for a few days.

You are a therapist Online. What can you share with us about seeing clients in this way?

When I first began doing video sessions, I was skeptical of whether therapy could even be done online. But over the years I’ve found online therapy to have many advantages. The obvious one is convenience — no driving or parking hassles. I have a lot of clients, especially those with busy workdays or young kids, who like that a 50 minutes session takes 50 minutes and no longer; makes therapy more accessible to them.

Other advantages to online therapy surprised me. Clients seem to be much more comfortable in their own space than in someone else’s space (my office). I’ve also found it interesting and useful to get a peak into my client’s home environment. I’ve learned a lot about who they are simply by observing and having conversations about art on the wall, books on bookshelves, even objects on a coffee table. It’s also fun to meet people’s pets and occasionally young children.


What’s your consultation room like?

I arranged my online therapy room like a real office.  I have some art up, plants, a bookshelf with lots of books so I look professional. I do not want my clients to see my personal life or hinting at my home life at all.


What do you wish people knew about therapy?

I always tell my clients that how they feel is not who they are; no matter how long it’s been or how many things they’ve tried. There is a key for every lock. Sometimes it takes more than a few different tries to find it. This is why I felt compelled to offer a warranty in my own practice. I wish not just my clients, but everybody knew that every part of us in intimately connected to every other part. Our minds, bodies, diet, physical activity, sleep habits, memories, family history and the stories we tell ourselves are all inextricably intertwined; even how our genes behave, known as gene expression. 

I share with my client that simply going for a 30-minute (even less) stroll outdoors each day provides a surprising number of physical, mental and emotional benefits. There’s no need to be speed walking or going with the intent to “exercise”. Just the act of moving outdoors is free, safe and highly beneficial for our wellbeing.


What did you learn about yourself in therapy?

As a trauma therapist, the top lesson one I learned in therapy is that most of our wounds, patterns, and behaviours are usually put down early in relationship and it’s through relationship that these wounds get mirrored back to us and, moreover, it’s also through a certain kind of caring, attuned, and responsible relationship that the wounds may finally have a chance to heal.

The magic and the mystery of therapy is that whatever client’s wounds and patterns are in the outside world, they will ultimately show up in the therapy room and that’s actually great! That’s where the healing power of therapy lies; it’s not in the increased self-awareness (though that’s great!), it’s in the actual experience of a healing relationship with the therapist.


Contact Ibrahim here

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