When it comes to overthinking I often say to my clients ‘thoughts are not facts’.  Yet our behaviour is often governed by how we think things should be, rather than how they are.  Ignore the ‘should’ – it’s usually false.  We are not very good at being objective about ourselves – that’s why it is important to seek out professional help or find a confidante to get some perspective.

When we take a step back, we can start looking at how we are thinking. What kind of thoughts are we having?  Are they thoughts which are spoiling our lives? It is often the thought that makes us feel bad – not the experience. (When in doubt, ask yourself – where is the evidence for this thought? Usually none.) It’s fake.

Worrying about things that are unlikely to happen is as old as the hills. Carrying around old thinking (which belongs to the past but is firmly rooted in our current thinking) and determined to control the future (more needless stuff to carry around in our heads) are the hallmarks of the worrier. 

We seem to be plagued with how we think things should be. Rather than how they are. In this age of social media, we are encouraged to compare ourselves – often unfavourably – to others.  We are not pretty enough.  Not slim enough.  Not rich enough.  Not clever enough.  Not successful enough. Not good enough.


Rather than focus on what we would like to be or have, why not focus on what we already have?  Some people draw up a gratitude list. This is about reality.  About the here and now.  When we focus on our own world we find our own truth. 

And there is nothing fake about that.


Here are some apps to help you with your gratitude list:

Online journal thnx4.org offers a 21 day gratitude challenge

Share your grateful thoughts on  thegratitudejar.com

Azam encourages users to write down one grateful sentence each day