Dear Charlotte, 

I am reacting to people with emotions that they claim have nothing to do with me. This makes me sound crazy and it doesn’t feel fair that other people aren’t apologising when I’m upset because of them. 

Can you help?

Dear Emotional, 

I understand the difficulty of feeling not believed. Let’s just validate the emotions you’re having. The feelings are happening, but feelings are not facts. You may be flooded at times and respond to people with projections. 

It’s so thorny, sorting out what belongs to whom, and DBT is brilliant for helping with emotion regulation. 

Regardless of whether people are the cause, there’s help you can find to have a healthier time, and DBT group therapy or individual therapy would be my recommendation.

All best,


Do you have a question for Dear Therapist? Send it to [email protected] with Dear Therapist in the subject line and Charlotte Fox Weber or Kelly Hearn will get back to you.


Read about DBT here or watch DBT therapist Jimi D. Katsis