Dear Charlotte,

I feel like my friends are competitive with me and not totally kind. Do you have thoughts on this? I sometimes feel friendless.

Dear friendless,

You speak about something most of us know all too well. The crashing disappointment of feeling let down by friends. 

We all have different rules for what constitutes a good friend but what’s clear from your message is that you’re a friendship Romantic, which leads to disillusionment. 

My advice is to discuss this with a therapist – therapy is a brilliant space for working through friendship issues. But also, connect with someone old or new. Connection always take that bit of courage – to say something vulnerable or embarrassing. Take the risk. 

Friends may be competitive and disappointing, but connection and rapport – these are among the top joys of life. No matter where you are, connection with someone is possible. Sometimes, with a therapist. 


Charlotte Fox Weber is a Welldoing psychotherapist and the author of What We Want - one of Welldoing's books of 2022

Watch our interview with Charlotte here