Dear Charlotte, 

I’m bored in my life but I haven’t said this to anyone until writing it here. I feel guilty for saying I’m bored and don’t know what to do. 

Do you have tips?

Dear Bored,

It’s a problem, being bored, and it’s inevitable at times too. Boredom is something to be taken seriously — and sadly, many of us are too ashamed to comfortably admit that we are bored in big and small ways. We have been socialised to avoid our own boredom, to distract ourselves or pretend that we’re not bored. You’ve said it by writing it to me, so that’s something. 

Ask yourself what really matters to you, what inspires you, when you feel engaged and curious. If you don’t know, start cultivating curiosity in yourself — look for interesting things and when you feel intrigued, take note. Boredom can become a crisis if life stops feeling interesting. The brilliant news is that the world is still full of mystery and intrigue and you can come and go from finding life fascinating. Boredom isn’t a permanent state – it’s a mood and a habit that can pervade.

Let your boredom matter — be interested in it. When I’m bored by myself or by other people I look for the defence — often boredom is defending something. We get boring when we’re overly careful, and even in a conversation, it’s remarkable how easily we become dull if we stay safe with our words. See what happens when you deviate from a path and you allow for spontaneity.


Charlotte Fox Weber is the author of What We Want – order here