My question is... how do you suggest we deal with rejection during this time period? It’s so easy to feel dispirited.

Dear dispirited,

I think this is a time period of compassion fatigue for so many of us, and that includes self-compassion fatigue. So many of us are feeling easily overwhelmed and upset, and we are looking for signs of hope, so when yet another thing doesn’t go our way, we quickly feel discouraged and take it badly. 

When we are frayed and fragile, small wounds hurt more than usual. Our emotional immune systems are shot. We are also missing certain social activities that often lift and bolster our spirits, such as going for work drinks where we normally debrief and defuse tensions, meeting up with friends where we might feel connected and valued, and numerous other activities and escapisms we can’t take comfort in just yet. 

In the meantime, see if you can keep yourself good company during this time period. Talk to yourself in a generous way. When you feel rejected, see if you can name it to tame it – and then let it go. That sounds overly simple, I realise, but it’s possible to process rejection and though we might not adore it – few of us do – surviving rejections, and getting past them, are a sign of living a full, textured life, so keep going.  


Do you have a question for Charlotte? Send it to [email protected] with Dear Therapist in the subject line

Further reading

Being single in lockdown: nurturing self-acceptance

How to nurture more self-compassion

How therapy helped me understand my fear of rejection

Moving from self-criticism to self-compassion