Perhaps you are trying to move forward with your life, but it feels as if one foot keeps hitting the brakes. Mary Morrison claimed, "In order to be free, we must learn how to let go. What is it you would let go of today?" Many of us already have an idea of what we would like to let go of, and have tried to do so many times: an addiction, unhelpful yet entrenched patterns of behaviour, a grudge against someone, persistent low mood, fear of failure, humiliation, rejection, of not being loved for who we really are… Or perhaps it feels as though another person, our job, or our community is holding us back, doing us harm, keeping us stuck.
Releasing the brake peddle when learning to drive is easier knowing the instructor is beside you, keeping you safe. Likewise, a therapist should make you feel at ease enough to speak freely and honestly, even if you are not sure what you want to say. This creates a space for what might need to emerge, what has perhaps been clamouring for the right kind of attention. Unexpressed, unheard needs in ourselves and others are often the root cause of what feels so problematic. Identifying and exploring them can be life-changing. Lightening the burden even slightly can make a huge difference and get you back on track.
Although you may be feeling miserable, looking for help is a huge step forward. Certain life events, transitions, or longstanding struggles can cause our usual ways of coping to break down, leaving us feeling overwhelmed and extremely distressed. To continue to function, drugs, alcohol, food, self harm, sex, social media, a depressive state or abusive behaviour can be used to numb the distress or stand in for what feels missing. But this often leads to feelings of guilt, shame, anger or blame – whether of oneself or others. It can feel like being trapped in a loop of unsatisfactory or harmful relationships, or like reaching a dead-end, with confusion about finding a meaningful path ahead.
Grounded in experience working with all of the issues above, I am interested in helping you understand your current situation, and using our joint reflection help you find a way forward to change and grow instead of repeating painful patterns. Having your own personal story and unique set of feelings and circumstances addressed in a safe, empathic and confidential setting can lead to a very different, freeing perspective. To achieve this I offer ongoing as well as time-limited psychodynamic therapy to adults of all ages and identities, and also work online.
In addition to private practice I am an Honorary Psychotherapist at South London and Maudsley NHS Foundation Trust, and worked previously in an NHS drugs and alcohol service. A parallel longstanding role in the creative arts has given me direct insight into the challenges of living authentically in a world that can feel ruled by appearance and image.
During the covid-19 outbreak I am continuing to take new referrals and have moved my practice online. When it is safe to do so, face-to-face sessions will resume.