Do you find life hard to bear? Do you wonder what is the point? Are you bored, or scared of the future? Do you find that despite working hard, you never achieve happiness?
Are you at a crossroads? Has something changed? Perhaps your kids have grown up and you’re wondering what’s next?
Have you become a parent? Suffered a bereavement? Developed a health problem? Perhaps you’ve moved or re-located? Is getting older making you unhappy?
Do you have problems at work; are you experiencing bullying, racial or sex discrimination at work?
Are you a woman feeling undervalued? Do you feel like people have expectations of you based on your gender?
Are you struggling with what it means to be a 21st century man? Or with a relationship or Fatherhood? Or teenaged children, perhaps you are lonely? Does other people’s happiness upset you?
Do you feel criticised, do you blame yourself and wonder what you’ve done to deserve this? Do you feel nobody listens, or your life choices seem limited?
Do you avoid difficult stuff? Exercise or eat too much? Treat other people badly?
Do you feel low or generally dissatisfied with life? Perhaps it seems that others are doing better than you? Maybe you feel bad about feeling bad?
Do you feel anxious, scared, worried or angry?
Having experienced a lot of these feelings, and found huge benefit from counselling, I am confident it can help.
Sometimes it’s hard to find the words; thoughts, feelings and events leave us confused and feeling stuck. I offer a safe, confidential space, where, together, we can begin to make sense of your experience and find a way forward.
I’m an honest, pro-active, compassionate listener, using metaphor and humour, effective, philosophical, holistic, intuitive, ethical and creative. If that sounds like the kind of counsellor you’re looking for, give me a call.
As a counsellor, I listen actively, which is different to everyday ‘listening’, because clients often tell me that partners/friends etc. often don’t really listen. This is very normal in daily life; people are pre-occupied, busy and so on. I find I have an ability to clear my head and allow my client’s words to echo, almost like I hear them twice. This may be very obvious and is something all counsellors do, but I mention it because it is absolutely vital to success.
Having said that, I’ve been asked by prospective clients if I am a counsellor who sits in silence, listening without speaking? No, I am not; I do speak, offer reflections, ask questions and offer different perspectives.
I work in lots of different ways – in sessions, I sometimes offer clients the opportunity to do written exercises, or invite them to do some work between sessions at home. Sometimes we make use of creative ways of working e.g. using objects, drawing or Russian Dolls. Sometime we role play difficult scenarios e.g. responding assertively to a person in their life that they have trouble standing up to.
Sometimes I draw on philosophy or poetry, e.g. ‘there is nothing that is good or bad except that thinking makes it so’, which was Shakespeare’s way of interpreting an ancient Greek philosopher, who in turn was saying that how we feel about an event or situation depends on the way we choose to think about it.
Often, in addition to the sadness, grief and sometimes tears that come up in sessions, there is laughter also, which I think is important.
Clients often tell me something that has happened to them which is very similar to my own life experience. Sometimes I will share this – whilst it is important to always remember that the focus of the work is always the client, if this is done sparingly and appropriately it can be very helpful.