Our voices are much more than the words we say, they are an expression of who we are. We use our voices to express our thoughts, feelings and showcase our personalities. Our voices can comfort, persuade or set boundaries. Yet, for some of us, using our voice does not feel natural or easy. 

For years, I struggled to use mine. I was reserved, felt uncertain, and often silenced by a mix of nerves, self-doubt, and the pressure to be perfect. I struggled to use my voice freely. I often found myself masking, pretending to sound the way people want me to sound or I found myself holding back, hesitating to speak up because I was overthinking and worrying about how I would be perceived. It was as if something invisible was keeping me quiet, even though I wanted to share my thoughts. That “something” was inhibition and it took me years to identify what was really holding me back. 

What is inhibition?

Inhibitions are the invisible barriers that stop us from expressing ourselves freely and becoming authentic. We hide our true selves when we want to communicate in the moment. We add layers to ourselves due to external factors to speak in a certain way. These inhibitions can develop over years and operate quietly in the background, shaping our choices and interactions without us even realising until it’s too late. 

Through my own experience I know what it feels like to sit in a room full of people, ideas floating around in my mind, but I would never put up my hand. I know the frustration of wanting to contribute but fearing I would be judged or misunderstood. These struggles affected my sense of self, which led me down the career of becoming an actor. However, as an actor, I realised I had completely lost my identity because I was becoming another character all the time. 

It was only when I wanted to work on my voice to become a great actor that I discovered what it meant to speak authentically and realised the impact it had on my own transformation. The process was life-changing. It shaped my confidence to become a Voice and Communications Coach whereby I've set up my business Speaking Voices to empower others to find their voice and to use it to inspire others. 

Types of inhibition

There are three main types of inhibition that I personally encountered and keep seeing when working 1:1 with my clients. 

1. Nerves and performance anxiety

Nerves have always been a major part of my story. Speaking in front of groups or unfamiliar faces would trigger a rush of anxiety, my heart would pound out of my chest, my face would go red, and sometimes my mind would go completely blank. The fear of making a mistake or being judged felt overwhelming. I often felt I had to speak flawlessly, and the pressure to get every word right only increased my anxiety and made mistakes more likely. These reactions are incredibly common, and even the most experienced speakers feel them. But what helped me most was learning to ground myself by breathing before I spoke and accepting that nerves are a normal part of stepping outside my comfort zone.

2. Self-doubt and fear of failure

Throughout my life, I have struggled with self-doubt and the fear that my ideas were not good enough. This inner critic made me question whether I should speak up at all. I trained myself that being in silence was better, which meant my voice suffered. I had no voice. I wasn’t able to make decisions or set boundaries; it was crippling. I went along with other people’s ideas, I followed other people’s expectations and, at times, felt like a carpet, letting others walk all over me. I did everything everyone wanted, rarely considering my needs or desires, but the absence of my voice left me feeling invisible and powerless.

Over time, I realised that my confidence was at its lowest, I wasn’t happy because I conformed to what everyone wanted and the only way to be happy and confident was to take a stand in what I believed in and practise speaking up. Each time I did, it became a little easier and I discovered my voice did matter.  

3. Past negative experiences

Being told “you’re too loud”, “you’re too quiet”, “why can’t you read properly”, “why do you sound like that” or having people laugh at you when you spoke up are all examples of negative past experiences. This might have given you the feeling of disappointment, invalidation or confusion, especially as a child, which stops you from voicing your thoughts now. 

Negative experiences from the past have a way of lingering. I can still recall moments when I felt embarrassed or criticised while speaking. These memories made me reluctant to try again, as I worried about repeating the pain. What helped me move forward was retraining my whole body, to reframe speaking in a different light and reminding myself that a few mishaps with speaking does not define my ability to communicate and to voice my opinion. 

Tips for overcoming inhibition

Overcoming your inhibitions allows you to communicate more authentically, connect with others, and express your ideas with confidence. It opens up opportunities in your personal and professional life, and it helps you feel more comfortable in your own skin. The process is gradual and requires a mix of self-reflection, practice, support, and sometimes professional help. Here are some tips drawn from my own experience:

1. Write down your fears

Take time to write down any fears or beliefs that may be holding you back from speaking freely. This honest reflection can help you identify patterns and triggers that contribute to your inhibition. Consider creating a dedicated journal or safe space for these thoughts.

If you feel comfortable, explore these fears with a holistic coach or trusted professional like a therapist who can help you unpack and challenge them. Putting your worries into words is a powerful first step towards managing anxiety, reframing negative self-talk, and building a healthier, more supportive relationship with your inner voice.

2. Seek professional support

Consider support from a professional therapist or coach, someone who is able to help you navigate life and question your thinking. Therapy can provide a safe, non-judgemental space to work through your fears, develop coping strategies, and gain new perspectives on your challenges. Whilst coaching can offer practical tools, encouragement, and structured guidance to help you set goals, take action, and build confidence as you move forward.

Finding the right person can take some time. I have worked with several therapists and coaches myself. At one point, I was seeing a confidence coach, a business strategist, and a Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) therapist all at once. It took a bit of trial and error, but once I found the right person, I could focus on the specific areas I wanted to improve. Knowing what the problem is and finding the right person to help you with that problem can make all the difference.

3. Have the right people around you

Surround yourself with people who are supportive and have more life experience. Their encouragement, wisdom, and honest feedback can help you see possibilities you may not have considered. Watching others navigate their own challenges is inspiring and reminds you that growth is possible at any stage of life. You can join a group, whether it's a professional network, a local club, or an online community, to connect with like-minded individuals. Sharing your journey with others creates a sense of belonging and accountability, making it easier to stay motivated. The right people will celebrate your progress, offer you guidance and stay on track with your goals.

4. Trust your own point of view

Learn to trust your intuition and recognise the power your voice. Building self-trust will help you make better decisions and feel more confident when expressing your thoughts. When you trust your own judgement, you are less likely to second-guess yourself or rely solely on external validation. Your inner confidence allows you to communicate more authentically and stand by your ideas, even if others disagree.

Remember, your perspective is shaped by your unique experiences and insights. The more you practise listening to yourself and acting on your beliefs, the stronger your sense of self will become. Over time, you will find it easier to speak up, contribute to discussions, and advocate for what matters to you.

5. Challenge yourself

Make a conscious effort to put yourself in situations where you need to use your voice, even if it feels uncomfortable at first. Say yes to opportunities that stretch you, such as speaking in front of a group or leading a discussion. Record yourself speaking and separately analyse how you think you did based on how engaging your voice sounds, what your body language and facial expressions look like and then listen to the content of what you said.

By challenging yourself to speak and then reflecting on a different part of public speaking, you're building your confidence with small steps. Remember to celebrate progress, not perfection.

Freeing your voice is an ongoing process, but it can transform your life. By giving yourself permission to speak up, make mistakes, and grow, you shift from trying to meet others’ expectations to expressing yourself authentically. This journey will bring you a sense of freedom and confidence to communicate openly. Your voice can make an impact, so release your inhibitions and allow your true self to be heard.