• External pressures and personal experiences can make it more difficult to tune into our intuition

  • Coach Heidi Hauer explores how you can access this source of wisdom

  • We have coaches available to support you now – find yours here

When it feels as if your life has gone off-track, or you’ve hit a dead end, it can be hard to navigate your way to freedom. Perhaps you’ve been so consumed by ‘doing’ that you haven’t had the chance to stop and ask yourself if the goals you’re chasing are the right ones. Chances are that your intuition has got lost along the way.

Our intuition is our inner guidance system. It’s available to us in every moment. I like to think of it as a spiritual sat-nav. Unfortunately, in most Western cultures, we’re subliminally schooled in suppressing this powerful inner voice. Because we’ve buried this intrinsic wisdom, it can feel hard to access.

Five signs you’ve gone off track

  1. Your life doesn’t match up to what you had in mind when you were younger. Where you stand today is a million miles from where you hoped you’d end up.
  2. If it feels like you’re in the wrong life, and you have a sinking feeling that you’re starring in someone else’s movie. You suspect you’re in the wrong relationship, friendships, or job. Underlying this suspicion is a secret hope that once your dream partner, perfect job, or social tribe materialises, you'll be launched into the life you are meant to be living.
  3. You’re not sure of who you are, but you know you need to change. Perhaps you’re feeling the pull to try something new, feeling the urge to shake things up and enter a new chapter in your life. Are you done with waiting for the long-promised happily ever after?
  4. You feel as you’ve outgrown the life you’re living. It matches an old version of you, not the persona you are today or the one you want to become.
  5. You know what you want from life and love, but you don’t know how to make it happen.

If any of the above resonates with you: it’s time to turn inwards and listen to that quiet voice that always wants the best for you, no matter how often you have ignored it in the past.


Talking to your inner voice

To access your intuition, set an intention for quiet focus. Find somewhere quiet and commit to fifteen to thirty minutes with no distraction. The better you can shut yourself off from the outside world, the faster your intuition will emerge from the calmness of your mind. If your mind feels clouded with distracting thoughts, rather than getting stressed or trying to actively clear or overwrite them, let them be, notice them, and they will pass.

Take the pressure off yourself. Ironically, the lower your expectations are about the outcome of your inner dialogue, the sooner and clearer your intuition will emerge. Be aware: if you are very attached to a specific answer, you will be getting in your own way and potentially, blocking truth from coming forward. 

It is clearly easier said than done to let go of these attachments. Your ego is well-trained in playing tricks on you and might camouflage itself as your intuition. Here’s how to spot it at work: if the answer stems from your mind (like an everyday thought, a logical deduction), that’s ego. When you feel an answer deep in your gut, or in your heart, an authentic ‘Yes!‘ it will have a different quality. Rather than‚ 'I think that’s a good idea.’, it’s more of a sense of knowing than just a good idea.

If you haven’t tried to access your intuition for a while, one simple trick to get you started is to begin by asking yourself easy questions about non-controversial topics. Before you dive deep into the question of whether to hand in your notice or file for divorce, try listening to your intuition about what to have for dinner, or where to go for a walk.

Building courage to act upon your intuition 

Acknowledging your inner truth to yourself is one thing. Acting on it, is an entirely different ball game. But as with most things, practice makes perfect. I’ve noticed myself (and so have my clients) that the more you align your behaviour with your inner wisdom, and the more often you call on your intuition to guide you, the stronger your inner voice becomes.

Building a strong relationship with your intuition is like building a trusting friendship with someone else. If you communicate from your heart, with self-compassion, if you demonstrate that your word counts (by acting on your intuitive wisdom), the conversation will move from the superficial to a deeper level.

Nourishing a trustworthy, intimate relationship with yourself is the best investment you can make in your future happiness. Strong intuition is key to self-leadership, and it’s an important part of my Queendom Within coaching programme. With conscious practice, intuition can become the best friend who is always by your side, guiding you through life’s ups and downs. Your inner wisdom will help you build a conviction that there is always a way through a difficult situation. Honing your intuition supports you to trust that your unique perspective will see you through. 

Heidi Hauer is a coach and the author of The Queendom Within

Further reading

This is why we should listen to our gut instincts

The 10 principles of intuitive eating

Moving from self-criticism to self-compassion

The first step to authentic living? Working out what you really want

Why don't we trust our own feelings?