Overwhelm is a feeling that almost everyone experiences at some point — the sensation of being faced with too much at once, buried under too many responsibilities, tasks, or emotional burdens.

Whether it's the pressure from work, family commitments, or simply the demands of modern life, overwhelm can affect our physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing. When we're overwhelmed, it's common to feel anxious, out of control, or even paralysed. 

Undoubtedly, many of the current ingredients of modern life, much of which relates to the omniscient and dominant digital world, only amplify this, however, overwhelm itself doesn't have to take over our lives! When our brains become overloaded, stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline flood our system, triggering the fight-or-flight response. Though these hormones are helpful for immediate survival situations, chronic exposure has serious consequences on our emotional and physical health, impairing our ability to think clearly, focus, and make decisions (McEwen, 2007). When overwhelm is left unchecked, it can lead to long-term emotional and physical issues. But, fortunately, there are ways we can both build resilience and harness emotional regulation skills to manage overwhelm better

Understanding what overwhelm is and how we can regulate ourselves to cope more effectively is essential to managing those moments when life feels too much. Such self-awareness is very much like the first step towards self-management. 

The reasons underlying the overwhelm will vary from one person to the next, however, the vast majority of reasons will fit into these categories.  This allows us to identify where the pressure is coming from so we can begin to address the issues proactively rather than letting them pile up.

- Too many responsibilities: Whether it's work, personal commitments, or family obligations, the sheer volume of tasks can feel suffocating.

- Perfectionism: Setting unrealistically high standards for ourselves leads to unnecessary stress and constant self-doubt.

- Lack of support: Feeling alone or isolated during tough times can intensify feelings of being overwhelmed.

- Loss of control: When life feels unpredictable, and we're not in control of the outcomes, it can amplify stress and anxiety.

One of the most effective ways to combat overwhelm is by learning emotional regulation — the ability to influence which emotions we have, when we have them, and we might experience and express them. Emotional regulation is not about suppressing these emotions but rather managing them in a way that helps us navigate stressful situations more effectively.

These strategies below are both effective and are known to support emotional regulation and thus lower overwhelm. 

Mindful awareness

Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present and aware of your emotions without any judgement. When overwhelmed, it's easy to get caught up in negative thoughts or spiral into panic. Mindfulness allows us to step back and observe these emotions from afar, making it easier to process them without becoming engulfed by them.

A simple mindfulness technique is to take a few deep breaths, focusing on the inhale and exhale. There are many such techniques that are similar to this. They can help calm the nervous system and prevent our minds from racing. Grounding techniques, such as focusing on physical sensations (e.g., feeling our feet on the ground or touching an object), can also bring us back to the present moment.

Cognitive reappraisal

This strategy involves altering the way we might observe a situation. Often, we feel overwhelmed because we interpret stressors in the worst possible light. Reappraising a challenging situation by seeing it in a new way can help reduce the intensity of our reaction. For example, if a work deadline is approaching and causing stress, try reframing it as an opportunity to demonstrate our strengths rather than a test our competences. Reappraising situations like this can make us feel more in control and less overwhelmed.

Emotional detachment

In his book, Shift, Dr Ethan Kross suggests that one way to manage overwhelming emotions is through emotional detachment. This doesn't mean suppressing or ignoring feelings, but instead creating some emotional distance. When faced with a stressful situation, take a step back and provide that space to slow down, stop and calm down before responding. This could mean a number of things such as taking a short break, walking away from the problem for a while, or even distracting ourselves by doing something very different that we might like. A technique I use for myself is just a saying:"This is temporary, and I have the ability to handle it".  This can help create a psychological buffer between ourselves and the situation that is consuming our attention.

Self-talk and reframing

Negative self-talk is intrusive and destructive and will only exacerbate feelings of overwhelm. We will often bring these out at stressful periods rather than using more positive and self-compassionate language. Phrases such as "I can't do this" or "I'm failing" naturally intensify and protract the stress response. A key to regulating our emotions is learning to talk to kindly and realistically. Some argue that speaking to ourselves in the second person might be more powerful – e.g. “You can do this” or “You’ve overcome this sort of thing before."

Whilst emotional regulation is important in reducing the overwhelm, practical strategies will of course have a hugely important role to play alongside:

• Break large tasks into smaller, actionable steps and focus on one thing at a time.
• Prioritise and delegate: By prioritising what tasks need to be done, you can focus on the most important ones first, and delegate to others where possible.
• Schedule regular breaks: whether at work or home, small breaks help prevent burnout in whatever form this might take. This might consist of a 5-minute stretch, a walk outside, or a few minutes of deep breathing, or just stepping away from those tasks.
• Limit multitasking: though multitasking might seem efficient, it can actually increase stress. By focusing on one task at a time is more likely to improve productivity and reduce overwhelm.
• Set boundaries: for some, this is the toughest challenge and often is simply about knowing when to say no. This is about protecting our time and energy which further reduces the overwhelm increasing. Such boundaries can exist in all parts of our lives, including family, work, friendships and elsewhere. 

Our lifestyle choices will play their own significant role in stemming the overwhelm becoming too much. We all read about the importance of well-balanced routines and these can mean so many different things:

• Regular exercise: Physical activity releases endorphins, which reduce stress and improve mood. Aim for at least 30 minutes of exercise each day.
• Adequate sleep: Sleep is crucial for emotional regulation. Aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep each night to ensure that your brain and body can cope with stress more effectively.
• Nutrition and hydration: Eating a balanced diet rich in nutrients and staying hydrated support your body's ability to handle stress. Avoid excessive caffeine, alcohol, or sugar, which is likely to heighten anxiety.
• Social support: Build and nurture a strong support network. Leaning on friends, family, or a therapist can help you manage overwhelm in a healthy way.

So, what is the main message here? 

It is partly about demystifying something so common in today’s world that it doesn’t have to be disabling. Overwhelm is something we all face, but it doesn't have to control us. By learning to regulate our emotions and implement strategies to manage stress, we can prevent overwhelm from taking over our lives.

The most important learning is recognising the signs early, being proactive about managing stress, and prioritising emotional self-regulation. We might feel that there are too many demands and expectations to fit within our waking hours.  Remember, we often don’t have to do it all, and it is okay to ask for help. Managing overwhelm will take time and practice like any other skill. In time, we can find our own set of tools that will help us regain control over our emotional wellbeing.