Deciding to try therapy is an important first step that often takes a lot of courage. It can be overwhelming to have to find the right therapist or counsellor, and can be difficult to know where to start. Here are six questions you can ask yourself to help direct you through the process.

1. What’s worrying you?

The first step, if you’re considering starting therapy, is to reflect on what it is that’s led you to that decision in the first place. For some people, this may be a straightforward answer, such as a specific bereavement, trauma, or phobia that you are looking for support with. For others, it will be harder to answer. Try to note any thoughts, feelings, or behaviours that you can bring to your first therapy session (or mention in an initial consultation) in order to kickstart the process. You don’t have to have it all worked out, or know exactly why you are experiencing these things yet – that’s precisely what a therapist can help you with. Topics you might bring to therapy could be anxiety, depression, loneliness, stress, low self-esteem, grief, burnout, addiction, to name just a few. In addition to this, it’s worth reflecting on any current or past life events that may have impacted you – such as a relationship, new job, loss of a family member, new birth, abuse, bullying, and so on. When choosing a therapist or counsellor, you might want to look for someone with a particular specialism or area of expertise in whatever is worrying you.

2. What are your expectations of therapy?

Before your first session, it’s worth taking some time to consider what your expectations are. Ask yourself what kind of conversations you want to have and the work you might want to do. This can be useful to discuss with your therapist to layout a plan for your sessions, particularly in more short-term therapy options such as a course of CBT. Similarly, if you have any goals in mind, let your therapist know. It’s okay if you don’t, but having something tangible to work towards can aid the process. Maybe this is a specific decision in your life or a benchmark for progress in a particular area – often these kinds of achievable goals are more helpful than ‘I want to stop being anxious’ or ‘I want to be happy’.

3. Where would you like to have your sessions?

These days, therapy can be delivered both in person and online, through video conferencing software like Zoom or Microsoft Teams. Some therapists may also offer additional options like walk and talk or phone therapy. There’s no ‘better’ way of accessing therapy support – both main types come with pros and cons, and it’s about finding support in a way that works for you. In person therapy can offer a neutral environment outside of the home and some may find a face-to-face conversation to open up to their therapist. However, travel times and costs mean it’s sometimes harder to access sessions, particularly if you’re looking for a more niche specialist who may not practice near you. Online therapy is often cheaper and works well if you live in a more remote location, but you might have concerns about privacy if you live with other people.

4. What therapy modality am I looking for?

There are many different types of therapy out there, and you may want to consider the kind of support that would best suit your needs. If you’re looking for help addressing immediate concerns and thought patterns, you might investigate cognitive behavioural therapies, whereas if you want to analyse the root causes in your past, then a psychodynamic approach might be more suitable. Some therapists will be trained in specific techniques, such as EMDR, EFT, or REBT, and others may specialise in creative therapy like art, drama or music therapy. You can find out more about different types of therapy and what they each offer here. Of course, you may not know exactly what you are looking for or have no specific preference – and that’s okay. Many therapists will use a range of techniques, and some will be integrative, meaning they incorporate multiple modalities into their practice.

5. What kind of input do I want?

Is your preference for a planned out, structured session that is led by the therapist? Or would you rather a more open-ended dialogue where you can set the agenda? Considering ‘directive’ versus ‘non-directive’ therapy can be useful when choosing a counsellor if you know that you’d prefer one over the other. Let the therapist know what you are looking for and they can explain how they practise. It may be that after your first few sessions you realise that the therapist’s approach isn’t quite right for you – it’s always okay to let them know this, and a good therapist will understand the importance of the right match. They may even be able to refer you onto a colleague or service who they think will suit you better.

6. What kind of person would understand me?

An important part of therapy is that you are offered a judgment-free space by the therapist, who is trained to understand and support you, no matter whether they can themselves relate. However, it’s entirely valid to have a preference for a particular demographic of therapist if you think this would make it easier to get the most out of therapy. It may be that you know you’d trust a particular gender of therapist and therefore open up more, or maybe you’d like someone who has lived experience of your religion or ethnicity. Likewise, you may seek a therapist who is LGBTQ+ affirmative and/or has lived experience. Trust your instincts, as the therapeutic relationship is important, but be open to trying it out with someone even if the prospect is daunting.

You might not necessarily find a match that works for you first time, and it’s completely normal to have a few sessions with a therapist and then let them know that it isn’t right for you. When you are choosing a counsellor, it’s worth getting in touch with several people simultaneously to see what their therapeutic offers and availabilities are.

Welldoing has an easy-to-use search filter where you can input all of the criteria in this article to narrow down your search. There is also the personalised MatchPlus service where the Welldoing team take on the task of finding a therapist for you.