Mary Mcilroy is a therapist in London
What attracted you to become a therapist?
After experiencing how therapy can counteract anxiety, I was very impressed by its practicality and effectiveness. I also found couple counselling helped make difficult decisions when my own relationship was in trouble, hence when I needed to reconsider a career change, 'therapy' stood out as worthwhile. Now after two decades experience of counselling, I offer a specialist service in either anxiety or couples issues.
Where did you train as a therapist?
I trained at The Psychosynthesis Trust – here I became a BACP accredited therapist. I trained in couple counselling at Relate which enables me to offer couples counselling. At Naos I studied for the advanced diploma in Relationship Counselling. I attended Adrian Hemmings' CBT diploma (CBT with Heart) at the university of Chester. I completed sex therapy training at Spectrum Therapy Central, and have a certificate in Eco-Psychology from the Psychosynthesis Trust. My experience includes assisting training workshops at The Psychosynthesis Trust.
Can you tell us about the type of therapy you practise?
I use psychosynthesis counselling to help individuals integrate different parts of themselves, heal past wounds and connect with a deeper sense of purpose through growth and self-realisation. In couples counselling I strengthen relationships, resolve conflict & improve communication.
How does your type of therapy help with motivation and confidence?
I find breathing exercises and goal setting improves motivation & self -Confidence. Core methods include: disidentification, subpersonalities, balancing love & will, creative arts and synthesis (of physical, emotional, mental & spiritual dimensions).
What sort of people do you usually see?
Adults of any age with anxiety issues & couples for relationship difficulties.
Have you noticed any recent mental health trends or wider changes in attitude?
I noticed a rise in anxiety is driven by social media pressure; it's behind many of our stress & anxiety issues. Ironically while people worry about A.I. some turn to it for emotional support while also suffering increased loneliness.
What do you like about being a therapist?
I give my best to others and find it satisfying to help them grow while experiencing breakthroughs. Often I make meaningful connections with others while witnessing life-changing 'aha' moments.
What is less pleasant?
The amount of admin at weekends is heavy and the profession is socially quite isolating.
How long have you been with Welldoing and what you think of us?
I have been a therapist for two decades however, I’m a new member to Welldoing's site.
What books have been important to you in terms of your professional and personal development? Do you ever recommend books to clients?
I am constantly researching various areas hence I read a lot and recommend a lot, e.g.:
- No More Mr Nice Guy by Dr M Pariser
- Mindfulness for Health by Vidyamala Burch
- The Courage to be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi
- To Live Until We Say Goodbye by E, Kubler Ross
What do you do for your own mental health?
I keep a strict routine for my own personal therapy and supervision. I look after my health and enjoy the distraction of keeping honey bees.
You are a therapist in North London and London Bridge. What can you share with us about seeing clients in these areas?
This is a prosperous area, however, people work hard to achieve and often their work-life balance creates challenges needing to be scrutinised. The often excessive competition causes stress, over-working and many disorders: panic attacks, fear, social anxiety and sleep disorders leading to physical impacts.
What’s your consultation room like?
My eco-friendly consultation room is spacious yet cosy and overlooks a golf course. My house is a retrofit listed super-home as it's highly sustainable and low energy, designed to cut carbon emissions to near zero.
What do you wish people knew about therapy?
There is often a team of people (behind the therapist is supervision and ongoing CPD) helping you receive a mountain of expertise, all dedicated to your issue and giving their best. It is more than talking – an active collaborative process where regular reviews ensure you decide your own goals and decisions.
What did you learn about yourself in therapy?
I learned my tendency was to multitask and overthink. One importance is to simplify life – slowing down and meditation, paradoxically, provide the answers.
