7 Steps to Resolve Anger in Relationships
Jul 25, 2019
Jan Marsh
Jan 24, 2025 28
Depression can be hard on relationships, whether because of the inwardness that is part of depression or the tendency to become easily irritated or angry. A traditional explanation of depression is that it is caused by anger turned inward, and for some people this is the case. All that bottling up and trying to be nice can lead you to feel that your thoughts and opinions are not very important, that others always come first. Here comes that defeat posture again, coupled with resentment - a toxic combination! If this is what is happening to you, it is important to learn to speak your mind, resisting the negative voice that says, 'What's the use? No one listens to me' and finding a way to be heard.
A lot has been written over the years about being assertive, which is a middle way between aggression demanding and submissiveness giving in or giving up . Being able to express your opinion and ask for your needs to be met is an essential skill in adult life, one that is taught in tiny daily increments in supportive families and schools. Anger can be a symptom of depression, perhaps because depression lowers resilience and makes a short fuse more likely. A tendency to self-medicate with alcohol will also contribute to anger by lessening self-control.
If getting angry is a significant part of your depression you will need to make a choice. Remembering that anger is often caused by a gap between expectations and reality, you can do the following two things:
Jan Marsh