Anger
Anger is a normal human emotion, not a mental illness, though it does feature as an early and significant symptom of a range of mental health conditions, such as depression. It’s a natural response to some events - such as being insulted or attacked - and it often involves a sudden burst of feeling, which then passes, though some are left with residue feelings which could range from humiliation to resentment.
The range of expressions can vary due to a number of factors - everything from how you were raised, what else is going on in your life at the time, whether you’re hungry or tired - but for some people angry and aggressive behaviour becomes so much a part of their lives it causes real problems for relationships, work and health.
Our anger experience is also affected by social and cultural forces, our gender and race, for example. Studies have shown that while White males are taken more seriously and considered more persuasive when they are angry, White women and Black men and women are treated as being less believable, less convincing, less rational. Their feelings are minimised.
Different experiences of anger
- Feeling rageful
- Outwardly expressing anger
- Turning anger against yourself
- Muscular tension
- Shutting down
- Impatience and irritability
- Passive aggressive behaviour
- Feeling resentful
- Engaging in self-harming behaviours
- Withdrawal
Professor Ryan Martin talks to Welldoing's Alice McGurran about his anger research
What can you do to control anger?
First of all, look out for the things that might trigger you to lose your temper. Is it one specific situation, or with one person? Is it when you feel you have no power over the situation? Recognising patterns can be very useful as it can help you either avoid them, or to prepare in some way for the possibility of a passionate response. If you cannot see a pattern because anger has become so common, see below
Anger produces specific physical symptoms which include the following:
- Adrenalin rush
- Increased heart rate
- Faster breathing
- Muscular tension
- Lack of clarity of thought
- Sense of explosive energy
Again, recognising these changes may help you to pause before fury takes over.
Many people also find relaxation techniques help, specifically trying to breathe more slowly, breathing into your stomach to stimulate your calming parasympathetic nervous system, going for a walk, listening to calming music, or following a guided mediation app.
"Social norms and expectations affect our ability to healthily express anger"
Can I help someone with anger problems?
It is probably wise not to try to stop someone expressing extreme anger or violence, but try to speak them afterwards and tell them that you care, but would like them to be able to manage their feelings. You can help them identify triggers, and there may be lifestyle changes you could suggest, such as cutting back on alcohol, getting enough sleep, increasing levels of exercise, or taking a break from screen time.
If the anger escalates into violence, you should leave the vicinity. If violence takes place in the family home, ensure that yourself and any children are safe. You can learn more on our domestic violence page.
Did you know?
Men and women often have very different relationships to their anger, partly due to how we are raised
Does therapy help with anger issues?
Talking therapy can help you understand your problems, and then start to change your way of dealing with situations that spark it.
Your counsellor or therapist will work with you on this, in a non-judgmental way. Sometimes being quick to lose your temper is a sign of other psychological or emotional distress.
Anger is a social emotion – understanding our attachment and relationship patterns can go a long way to helping us understand our relationship to anger as well.
You may find that therapy is a good place to explore expressing your anger more, if you are someone who typically represses their anger.
You may find anger management programmes are available through your GP.
Last updated 7 October 2024
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