Ask a Therapist

A range of positive or negative feelings towards your therapist is a pretty expected part of psychotherapy. This feeling may present as mistrust, fear of, hostility, or contempt, as well as idealisation, care for, or even romantic interest in the therapist. You may also experience feelings that your therapist resembles a family member, a parent, a spouse, a partner, or a friend.

Although these feelings are real, and feel very, very real, they are a by-product of therapy and may be a manifestation of your – for example – attachment system issues, your needs, fantasies, your biased thinking, your difficult past experiences, or even underlying psychopathology. In reality, aside from the general characteristics of your therapist, you know very little about them. These feelings are not about your therapist. Rather, they reveal your deeper psychological processes, and I would recommend acknowledging and discussing them in your session.