Ask a Therapist

So today's question is: "I don't feel like my therapist 'gets me' - should I change to someone new?"

Well, you can, but before you do, don't miss out, because there's therapeutic gold here waiting to be dug up. And we're going to look at how you can do that.

So should you change? Well, maybe. Fit is a real thing and not every therapist is going to be right for you. But before you do, try the following.

Ask yourself which bit of you you feel isn't being heard or understood. Describe it. Give it a name. Then - radical idea - tell your therapist about it and see what happens. And for the more avoidant among you, this is probably a pretty scary idea. But the worst case scenario is it doesn't go well and you leave, which you were going to do anyway. The best case is things improve. And more than this, it means you're rehearsing a key life skill, which is identifying what is troubling you in a relationship and feeding that back so that something can change. And like all skills, it might feel awkward to begin with, but it gets easier with practice.