Ask a Therapist

Do you ever wonder if therapists really find their clients and their material interesting? Do you wonder if they actually get to the end of the session thinking, “that’s 50 minutes of my life I’ll never get back”, or if they sit there watching the minute tick by, stifling yawns?

Well, there’s some good news here, I think. Therapists really do find their clients fascinating, no matter what they’re bringing. And here’s why I believe this. If, as a client, you can show up authentically, prepared to bring your vulnerability, a willingness to talk about difficult things and to collaborate with your therapist on doing the work, to sit and wonder and ponder and think together, then you are the most interesting person in the world to us. In fact, I’d say that possibly that might make you a more interesting person to lots of other people out there too, not just your therapist. The right kinds of people, perhaps.

What can get in the way of therapists’ interests in our clients is when we sense a disconnect in the room. Perhaps a lack of emotion or authenticity has come into the way our client is speaking or thinking. But then we get interested in that. What happened there? Why have they gone offline a little? What are they trying to defend or protect themselves from? How do I bring them back to a place of effective engagement with me with what they’re telling me? How do I get them to tell me the story they actually need to be talking about, not this story that maybe is a bit of a red herring, a bit of a distraction?

So basically, you’re always going to be interesting to us. Therapists are perhaps the nerdiest when it comes to their interest in people, in their clients, in you. If you can bring all of you, the good, the bad, and the ugly, we will be so grateful and so interested that you did.