Ask a Therapist

If you’re in therapy, you may sometimes wonder whether your therapist compares their clients. Well, we therapists have a duty of care towards our clients, and checking in with ourselves as to how we feel towards and are responding to each of our clients is part of that duty of care. This is important because it helps us to notice if we might be struggling with a particular client or issue. And once we spot this is happening, we can take steps to do something about it. So ultimately, this kind of curiosity is about helping us to provide each of you with the best possible care.

As for your reasons for wondering whether your therapist compares their clients, this is something your therapist is likely to be glad to discuss with you, because it’s likely to be impacting how you feel about yourself as you sit with your therapist, and also on the things you choose to share with your therapist. Your therapist is likely to be curious about why you’re wondering if they compare their clients, and this curiosity serves two main purposes. Firstly, by understanding your unique reasons for wondering about this, your therapist can give you a meaningful answer, one that addresses your particular concerns. And secondly, by exploring what lies behind this curiosity, it’s possible that a bigger, more deep-seated concern may emerge. And once that’s come to light, you have the option of working through that if you choose.

The relationship between client and therapist is unique. It’s a professional and supportive relationship, and any curiosity we therapists show towards you, the client, should be non-judgemental and with the sole aim of supporting you in benefitting from whatever may emerge.