Ask a Therapist

Two answers to this: firstly, you are our favourite client. When we’re doing therapy, we’re not comparing you to other clients or other people. There is only you in that moment, so the question of being a favourite or not isn’t actually a thing. Clients often say things like “do other people say this?” or “I bet this is really common” or “is this normal?”, and okay, I can understand why you’d ask that, but we as therapists are not doing that. We’re not saying, “my other clients do X, Y, Z”. Other clients are not relevant to the relationship between you as a client and us as a therapist.

Second answer is, why are you interested in the question? In a sense, why is it relevant to you to be the favourite? It’s something to bring into therapy because perhaps behind that question is an early attempt, by you, to be favourite, say, in your family. Because perhaps there was a sense that you were not getting the love and the attention that you needed or that you felt was given to a sibling who was higher need, who perhaps you perceived as the favourite. So, being the favourite is both an understandable childhood need, but it also is evidence that there was something you needed to do and strive for in order to become the favourite. So again, it’s something that it would be worth talking about, that you should ask your therapist “am I your favourite?”, because that might open up that conversation.