Camilla Nicholls

It is a credit to the co-writers, Jack Thorne and Stephen Graham, and the director, Philip 

Barantini, that nothing about the Netflix four-part miniseries 

, a solitary umbrella term which encompasses one of the most powerful transitional periods of our lives. It’s when the desire to differentiate and

individuate, especially from our parents, is in conflict with the equally strong wish to be

understood by them and the world at large.

The series stars the remarkable Owen Cooper as thirteen year old Jamie Miller who is

arrested and accused of murdering Katie another teenager at his school. He vigorously denies it to the police, his family, his solicitor and the independent psychiatrist tasked with

At first, we seem to be in familiar territory of heavy-handed police targeting

an aspirational working class family trying to get by. However, the frame changes almost

immediately as we see (with a few exceptions) every under-resourced professional try their

best to be careful in their handling of the teenager in an extreme situation.

The writing is exceptional. Jamie’s first name is liberally scattered throughout every address

to him and the overt politeness and covert tension of the adults feels familiar to anyone

who has encountered policing or social services. The heartbreak of Jamie’s family, in

particular Jamie’s father Eddie, played by Stephen Graham at peak power, never leaves our

thoughts throughout the four parts. The victim, Katie, is kept in mind whilst the focus

remains with why, when the evidence points at Jamie having killed her, he not only carried

out the brutal act but can continue to believe he’s ‘done nothing wrong.’

As psychoanalyst Dr Margot Waddell states in her essential book 

 published by Karnac in 2017, that any stage of transition “spells or suggests

instability, loss, change, uncertainty, the unknown; the shift from something familiar, and

therefore relatively safe, to something foreign and potentially threatening.” Perhaps never

more true than during the transition into adolescence.

Waddell was writing at a time when the power of the internet to influence adolescents was

already taken into account, but in advance of the rise of misogynistic influencers and ‘incel’

(involuntary celibate) culture we now have where ideologies of blame, distrust and hatred

towards women have gained huge traction online.

. In interviews Stephen Graham has said that reading

about the murder of teenage girls by teenage boys ‘hurt his heart’ and prompted his desire

to explore why it was happening. He and Jack Thorne, wanted to avoid pointing the finger of

blame at the usual suspects – alcoholic mum, abusive and physically or sexually abusive dad

and to lead into a world where there is joint accountability and family, school, society,

community, environment all share the responsibility for failing to keep children safe.

Graham wisely reflects that a generation ago if a parent wanted to protect their children

from watching unsuitable content on television they could be ‘sent to their rooms’ in the

safe and certain knowledge that their access to social and cultural influences would

inevitably become narrowed. These days the opposite is true. As he puts it “Now when lads

and girls go to their bedrooms they have the world at their fingertips. We parent our

children, but there are influences we have no idea about having profound effects on our

 is when we see a teenager explain to an adult

the nuances of emojis on social media posts. The chasm between what we, as adults, think

we understand and what goes on in the world of adolescents is perfectly pinpointed. Whilst

the context of the series is the toxicity of the manosphere, it is only adults who refer to

Andrew Tate, he’s of no interest to these kids. Yet.

There are infinite themes of interest to all those working in the psychotherapeutic world

unning throughout the series. Not least in Episode Three, one of the most powerful of the

four. In this Jamie is interviewed by an independent psychiatric assessor brilliantly played by

The confusion of what Waddell calls ‘lost childhood and 

unrealised adulthood’ is plain to see. Jamie’s feelings, so faultlessly portrayed by Owen

Cooper, encompass bewilderment, conflict, hope, desire and defiance. He’s a very ‘clever

lad’ and funny too, who fears being ‘trapped’ by the psychiatrist’s superior intellect and

experience. His bewilderment is clearly hard to give expression except through destructive

acts and words. His views of women and girls are not only gained from his family

experience, but also absorbed through the pernicious lens of the internet. When a still

ranting Jamie leaves the interview room the psychiatrist is left with all his evacuated

feelings of anger, frustration, disappointment and shame. I think most therapists will relate

to this scene acutely. We may not have worked with child murderers but many of us will

regularly come into contact with murderous feelings from which our clients wish to be

relieved in treatment. On watching I felt nauseous, sweaty and despairing.

Consulting rooms in recent years are much more likely to bear witness to stories of sexual entitlement by young men than perhaps ever before. Sometimes it is the men themselves talking in denigrating terms about women and girls. In these cases there is often a shadow of confusion leading to anger resulting from reality being at odds with the expectations stoked by everyday exposure to the more toxic podcasts, porn and social media. 

More often it is young women that I see. Whilst they can present as sexually liberated, with their worlds embracing polyamory, kink and gender fluidity, they are puzzled, sometimes fearful, about men taking up non-consensual dominant roles during sex. Unwanted experiences of spitting, hair-pulling and strangulation have become much more commonplace complaints.

 do not claim to have the answers to why boys murder girls, but

this production carefully and lightly touches on the toxicity of the casual lack of respect of

teens sharing sex photos without consent, the impotence of teachers who have to be social workers, religious leaders, counsellors and carers whilst surrounded by disengaged children and motivational wall hangings. The everyday expressions of gender stereotypes “you got

banged by a girl, you sausage" when a girl pummels a boy in the playground she believes to

Another factor, expertly woven into the narrative, is the intergenerational impact of unexplored, expressed or 

understood anger of Jamie’s father managed daily by Jamie’s mother. It didn’t start with Eddie, but with his own father who, we are told, ‘battered him with a belt’ on a regular basis. Male clients with verbally or physically abusive fathers often talk in therapy about how they ‘don’t want to be like my dad’, but it’s a difficult legacy to dodge. There is often a sexual root cause. Male sexual disappointment, frustration or shame can be hard to give expression to. We saw it give way to anger in Jamie’s interview with the psychiatrist. Later on, perhaps Eddie would have been better able to deal with the humiliation of the blatantly wrong but nonetheless degrading sexual graffiti daubed on his van, and the taunts of the youngsters who put it there if his wife, had had a more encouraging and less practical (making breakfast, daughter in the house) response to his cheery suggestion of birthday sex.

Eddie’s wife and daughter, also wonderfully played by Christine Tremarco and Amelie Pease, push 

through fear and anxiety to manage, appease and smooth over Eddie’s unwelcome feelings in order to keep the

household running. However, not until Episode Four are they remotely allowed to decision-make. At the start of the drama it is patriarch Eddie, who is Jamie’s chosen responsible adult

in the police station. His mother’s suggestion of standing in instead is brushed aside. Jamie’s intense confusion, denial and shame seem intensified by his father’s presence. Might the victim’s family, friends and the Miller family all have been spared a great deal of grief if his mother had been the one in the interview room with him seeing the shocking CCTV film for the first time? Perhaps his mother would have been able to contain the swirling feelings of shame, short circuit the self-sabotaging denial and help Jamie to an early guilty plea?

In terms of psychological maturation, adolescence is when we start caring about how others

perceive us, put that through the kaleidoscopic lens of social media and it becomes

fragmented, confusing and, at times, distorted to an unrecognisable degree. Despite its

examples of human resilience, potential reconciliation and hope, 

uncomfortable mirror up to our current sense of social cohesion and community. Rarely are

we served such rich, timely and essential dramatic fare.

Jack Thorne and Stephen Graham have already been talking about screening their drama in schools which feels like a good next step. As soon as a child starts school their sense of a private life begins, something which parents learn to respect and fear in equal measure. Getting that balance right is hard. From the view of the consulting room more open dialogue between parents, carers, teachers and children about what is generally being viewed online and specifically about sex would be welcome. If, as a society, we could find more ways of learning what children 

 about sex and relationships there’s a chance that difficult emotions might be aired and explored rather than toxically repressed. Tragic consequences might just be avoided.

netflix adolescence therapist review

What a Psychotherapist Thinks of Netflix's Adolescence

Chadi Nabhan

For those of us who have – at the risk of sounding anciently old – practised oncology for decades, we have accumulated many stories. These encounters with patients and their caregivers shape our lives, keep us grounded, and constantly remind us why we do what we do every day. They are our motivation to excel, research, and study, so that we can help future patients and strive to do better. 

Cancer touches us all. Every reader of these words knows someone who has been affected by cancer. Whether it’s oneself, a family member, a loved one, a friend, a neighbour, or a colleague, we all know someone who has suffered from cancer. This disease has the most profound impact on our physical, mental, and emotional health the minute we hear the “C” word. 

because I was convinced that there was a further need to explain cancer to a large general audience, but from a different angle — one of simplicity and storytelling. I imagined myself in the patients’ shoes and pictured every question that could arise as they navigate this unpredictable journey. I pictured myself as their oncologist, their primary care doctor, their nurse, their pharmacist, and their caregiver. I attempted to address every question that could come to their minds and used true stories of people I have cared for to provide a guide to everyone interested in navigating the journey of cancer. 

I recounted these stories in the book and wanted to humanise the medical experience. Oncologists are humans who have emotions, feelings, and good and bad days, just like the rest of the world. Readers will note my emphasis on the human element in medicine, highlighting the emotional and psychological aspects of cancer care. Every patient is different, and the goal is to assure that the medical team is attuned to individual patient needs. The 

Consider my young patient who had just completed her chemotherapy for Hodgkin lymphoma and was in remission. She was likely cured, and I couldn’t wait to share the news with her. But as I entered the exam room, I saw anxiety and nervousness on her face, tears glistening in her eyes. My heart sank, realising that my joy was perhaps not fully reciprocated

I asked, “Are you okay? What happened?”

She hesitated, then replied, “Nothing – I am just very nervous.”

When I tried to calm her down and explain that treatment was completed and she can take a break from the medical system for three months, she became more distressed. “That makes me very nervous. I can’t go that long without seeing all of you. I just can’t,” she countered.

Despite the good news I delivered, her reaction was in fact similar to patients I had treated.  Some patients have a sense of security when they are seen often in clinics and worry when longer time periods pass without such visits. This sense of separation anxiety is heightened early on after finishing therapy but may subside as more time lapses. 

I reassured her that we don’t need to wait three months to meet again. “How about you return to the clinic in four weeks to check in instead of three months? If all is well, we can extend the frequency to every two months then every three months.” She nodded in agreement. I heard a sigh of relief as she wiped off a couple of tears.

This story and others are at the heart of my book. Readers will relate to such encounter and can understand the anxiety associated with fewer clinical visits for someone with cancer.

I have always reflected on the challenges facing the caregivers of patients with cancer. I recall my patient and his wife who always saw me together. His frequent visits, treatment schedule, imaging study needs, lab appointments, and transfusions, forced her to take more time off than desired. Yet, she somehow managed to do it all.

One day, I noticed she was in more distress. I asked her if she was OK, to which she replied “Yes, I am as OK as possible.” I was not convinced, so while my patient was getting blood draws, I asked her to stay behind so that we could discuss further. 

My patient’s wife was displaying signs of caregiver burnout, defined as a state of physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion that can occur when caring for a loved one. People who suffer from this phenomenon can exhibit various symptoms such as fatigue, stress, anxiety, depression, insomnia, and more.

We sat down and started discussing resources that can help her navigate what she was going through, and agreed that I would call her the following week to check in.

The Cancer Journey: Understanding Diagnosis, Treatment, Recovery, and Prevention

 is inspired by the real-life experiences of patients and families I’ve had the privilege to treat. My goal was not to add yet another title to the plethora of cancer-related texts but to combine scientific rigour with heartfelt storytelling, designed to demystify the complex world of cancer for patients, caregivers, and healthcare professionals alike.

The book covers all aspects of cancer care from causes, symptoms and diagnosis through to treatment modalities like surgery, chemotherapy, radiation therapy, hormonal therapy and immunotherapy. The book addresses the management of side effects, the importance of palliative and hospice care, communication, caring for the caregiver, and the emotional journey of cancer survivorship. In the last chapter, I explore the future of cancer care, by discussing advancements in cancer care delivery, regulatory changes, precision oncology, and the potential of artificial intelligence in improving patient outcomes.

The journey of cancer is filled with triumphs and victories, but also with bumps and setbacks. We learn from our shortcomings and must celebrate our success. 

Every patient, every family, and every story has taught me how to stay humbled, grounded, and focused on what matters. I remind myself daily about the true north of what my colleagues and I are trying to do: make a positive impact in patient lives, one patient at a time.

patient lying in hospital bed

In My Two Decades As An Oncologist, Here's What I've Learned About Cancer

Louise Chunn is a prize-winning journalist and former editor of a number of magazines, including Psychologies, Good Housekeeping and InStyle. She is the founder of Welldoing Ltd.

Louise Chunn

I had not intended to go and see the latest Bridget Jones movie. Sequels are so rarely satisfying, and it seemed to me that stronger fare was what was needed to deal with the news squalls and cold weather of February. To launch it on the schmaltz-fest of Valentine's Day just added to my disinterest.

But then, just like that, I changed my mind.

I had been an original Bridget Jones fan, from when it started off in 1995 as an anonymous cod-diary in The Independent. I was editing the Women’s Pages in The Guardian at the time, and felt rather jealous of the way this column captured the 90s zeitgeist. 

As the popularity of the columns grew, it turned into a book, then another, then a film, which (almost) all agreed was one of those British rom-coms that are the default choice when you need a laugh and a cry and a good time. I went to the premiere, and with Hugh Grant and Renee Zellweger wisecracking on stage, it was a genuinely exciting moment. 

But now? The premise of Mad About the Boy sounded worn out and trite. The trailer focused on a six-packed toyboy and an uptight teacher as probable boyfriend material, and was riddled with Bridget face-pulling and pratfalls. The Guardian gave it only a two-star review. Surely it was the latest in the Bridget Jones franchise was simply not worth heading outdoors for?

I was wrong. One old friend after another told me how much they loved the new film, and then I read a volte face in The Guardian 

Bridget Jones 4 is the most moving romcom of modern times

. I held back from reading its identification of which scenes had touched the most, and booked a matinee ticket for my 20something daughter and myself.

We loved it. We laughed all right — Bridget Jones is still pulling crazy madcap stunts, and getting things wrong — but most memorably, we really did cry. Finding ourselves tissue-less, we had to nip out to the bar area for napkins to mop up our tears. 

There are authentic truths in the film, and they hit home again and again. Probably most potently it is that grief hurts. Bridget’s husband, Mark Darcy, played by Colin Firth, has died four years before, leaving her as a widow with two young children, Billy and Mabel. She struggles, comically, to cope, but she also nurtures them and mourns his loss with them, without seeming mawkish. 

As one of the Guardian contributors, Emmy Griffiths, wrote “I watched the fourth Bridget Jones film three weeks after his [my dad's] funeral, and spent most of it a sobbing wreck – not just because of how it captures the crushing sadness of losing someone essential, but also for its gentle guidance on how to move on.

“The message that your loved one will always be a part of you, that you don’t need to “let them go” to rediscover life, and that it isn’t a disservice to them to feel joy, had me feeling lighter than I had in weeks."

She has, of course, her friends to help. Shazza, Jude and Tom have seen their 30s slide into their 50s too (and mercifully they have their own faces to prove it). These are old friends who know and love her every quirk, but are also capable of taking Bridget in hand if the need arises.

And then there is Daniel Cleaver, as created by national treasure Hugh Grant. A seductive, sports-car driving boss in the first book and movie (surely hard to love in the post-Me Too world?) he’s not foregone skirt-chasing, but is also a loyal compadre now that Bridget is a single parent. Why, he can even, in his own cocktail-drinking way, babysit.

The ending was, I agree, a bit pat and cartoonish, but as a whole it was a wonderful, heartening, tear-splattered afternoon in the dark, surrounded by others who were also happy and sad, to see an old friend again.

bridget jones mad about the boy poster

The New Bridget Jones is a Feel-Good Film for Bad-Feeling Times

michelle elman

Michelle Elman

Emotional unavailability is a term that gets used a lot, often in pop psychology, and especially in the realm of dating and relationships. Whilst it is often overused, the definition remains blurry which leads to confusion around understanding what it actually means and how it manifests. We often overcomplicate it, but at its core, emotional unavailability refers to a person's inability or unwillingness to be emotionally present or engaged with others.

Why do we get so caught up in the idea of emotional unavailability, and how can we recognise it, both in ourselves and in the people we interact with?

Emotional unavailability is generally understood as a lack of capacity to be present for another person emotionally. This can show up in a variety of ways, from an inability to empathise with others to a simple lack of time and space in one's life to be emotionally present. It's important to note that emotional unavailability is not always about malice or lack of care – it can stem from factors such as stress, emotional exhaustion, and a lack of self-awareness. 

One example of emotional unavailability is seen in dating. Imagine you're on a date with someone who, right from the start seems distracted. They might be texting on their phone, checking emails, or constantly glancing at the clock. Their attention isn't fully on you or the conversation. In this case, while your date may be physically present, they're not emotionally available because they're not present in the moment. They lack the space or awareness to connect with you emotionally.

Another form of emotional unavailability arises from a lack of emotional intelligence or self-awareness. Take for example, a person not realising that their actions are hurtful or dismissive. A person who avoids conversations about feelings or shuts down when emotions are expressed may not know how to handle those emotions, either their own or others...which can make it difficult for them to form deep, meaningful connections with others.

Unfortunately, people who are emotionally unavailable tend to end up attracting others who are also emotionally unavailable. This dynamic is often unconscious but it can play a significant role in why we sometimes chase people who aren't capable of giving us the emotional connection we desire. This attraction is often driven by a subconscious desire to fix, win over, or emotionally 'earn' the affection of someone who is difficult to connect with. The inconsistent nature of the relationship where affection is intermittently given and withheld can create an emotional rollercoaster that feels both exciting and validating, even though it's ultimately unfulfilling. 

This dynamic can also make it harder for individuals to recognise when someone is not emotionally available because they misinterpret the lack of attention or affection as a challenge or an opportunity to prove their worth. It also confirms our own feelings of not being good enough. It's in these moments that we must ask ourselves: why do we find ourselves pursuing relationships that are clearly going to lead to pain and disappointment?

If you're wondering whether you're emotionally unavailable, it's important to first reflect on your behaviour in relationships, both with romantic partners and friends. Becoming emotionally available starts with self-awareness, which involves noticing patterns in how you engage or disengage emotionally in different situations. For example, when someone shares something emotionally significant with you, do you find it difficult to listen? Do you tend to change the subject or avoid deeper emotional topics? If you tend to shy away from emotional conversations or struggle to stay present when others express their feelings? Any of these may be a sign of emotional unavailability.

Additionally, emotional unavailability is often linked to a fear of vulnerability. Vulnerability is a crucial element of emotional intimacy, and those who are emotionally unavailable may feel threatened by the prospect of being emotionally exposed. This fear can lead to avoiding deep emotional connections or deflecting compliments and praise. 

Another indicator of emotional unavailability is the avoidance of conflict. Conflict is an inevitable part of any relationship, but if you tend to shut down, become defensive, or avoid discussing difficult subjects, it could be a sign that you're not ready to face the emotions involved in that situation. 

In some cases, emotional unavailability might not be about avoiding emotions entirely, but rather about feeling overwhelmed by the emotions of others. This might happen if you find yourself feeling mentally drained after emotionally charged conversations or if you're unable to handle another person's feelings without retreating. Recognising these patterns is the first step toward understanding whether you are emotionally unavailable.

How can I become more emotionally available?

If you do recognise these signs in yourself and want to work on becoming more emotionally available, there are steps you can take to improve your emotional engagement in relationships. The first step is developing emotional awareness. Begin by taking reflecting on your emotional responses in various situations. Do you avoid talking about your feelings, or do you resist engaging when others express their emotions? Do you feel uncomfortable when someone gets too close emotionally? Writing journalling or reflecting on these patterns can help you become more aware of how you interact emotionally. 

One other way to improve emotional availability is to practice active listening. This means giving someone your full attention when they're sharing something meaningful, resisting the urge to interrupt, offer solutions, or change the subject...instead, stay present with their feelings and validate their experience. This will help deepen emotional connection and trust. 

Learning to tolerate discomfort is also important in becoming more emotionally available. Emotional conversations can be difficult, especially when they involve vulnerability or conflict. Instead of shutting down or avoiding these conversations, challenge yourself to remain engaged even if the situation feels uncomfortable.

Taking small steps to share your feelings and be more open with others will help you develop stronger, more meaningful relationships. Becoming emotionally available isn't something that happens overnight. It takes time, practice, and a willingness to face uncomfortable emotions. But the rewards of emotional availability are well worth the effort. When you are emotionally available, you can create deeper connections, offer genuine support, and engage with others at a more meaningful level. 

If you find yourself pursuing emotionally unavailable people or struggling to be emotionally present yourself, it's a signal that it's time for some self-reflection and introspection. Emotional unavailability can be a pattern, and it can also be broken. By increasing your self-awareness and making a conscious effort to engage emotionally, you can improve your relationships and generate a healthier emotional landscape for yourself and those around you.

'closed' sign hanging in a window

Am I Emotionally Unavailable?

Alice McGurran

Whether or not we feel safe in the world is a significant contributing factor to our overall emotional and psychological health. Conflict at work or with loved ones, crammed public transport, continuous stressful news fed to our phones: these aren't, for the most part, life-threatening situations, but our nervous systems might not be convinced. 

And of course many of us have experienced genuinely life-threatening or traumatic events over the course of our lifetimes, which can have a lasting impact on how we perceive the world around us and how our nervous systems may try to protect us from further harm. 

Deb Dana has dedicated her career to translating the work of Stephen Porges on polyvagal theory, and to working with survivors of complex trauma. She is also a consultant to the Traumatic Stress Research Consortium in the Kinsey Institute. 

In our interview below, she explores the different nervous system states, what healthy nervous system flexibility and regulation looks like, and how to get there.

Polyvagal Practices: Anchoring the Self in Safety

deb dana alice mcgurran interview

Complex Trauma Specialist Deb Dana on Polyvagal Theory and Nervous System Informed Practice

Complex Trauma Specialist Deb Dana Explores Polyvagal Theory and Nervous-System Informed Practice

Richard Templar is the author of the global best-selling "The Rules of... " series. The Rules of Everything is published by Pearson, priced at £12.99.

Richard Templar

It's traditional to freshen up your house in the spring, to jettison the old and tired, to clean and tidy, to put away the winter things and dig out your summer kit. It's a healthy, invigorating and positive activity. So why restrict it to your home? Why not spring clean your mental health too?

Here are a few ideas for ways you can do that, and bring the same stimulating sense of optimism to your inner life.

It's easy to slip into unhelpful patterns, and spring is a good time to think about what those are some of them you'll know perfectly well if you're honest . These might be to do with your physical health - it's easy to cut back on exercise in the winter, or to get into unhealthy eating habits.

Be straight with yourself about these because the invigorating nature of spring time makes this a great opportunity to change any habits you don't like. Not only is this obviously great for you physically, but you'll feel better in every way for successfully re-boosting your health.

Be self-aware about the best way to achieve these changes. Can you motivate yourself to get outside more without help, or would it be better to enlist a friend to book in a regular walk/cycle/run with? Would the eating patterns be easier to change if you went vegetarian for a month, or ate at a different time, or used a petrol station where you can pay at the pump and avoid going inside where all those tempting snacks are?

There are lots of things that make it difficult to think clearly, and many of them are about having too much going on in your head. So any strategies that free up thinking space are helpful. Not only will you get more done, but you'll feel freer and more able to cope. Here are a few ideas to help you:

How to Spring Clean Your Inner Life

Lisa Daitz

Now the clocks have moved forward and the spring weather is gradually setting in, there is a great deal of expectation for people to go out and make the most of the longer evenings. Yet we know that, for many people this can feel more daunting than exciting. And whilst winter is often associated with 'the blues', spring and summer that can lead to unhappiness too.

Whilst in winter we can hunker down and make the most of our homes - if we're lucky – spring is a time to traditionally get out and about once more. With longer evenings and more light it can feel to many that there is 'no place to hide'. And with this feelings often comes a realisation that something is not right; that there is a need to hide; that getting out into the world again isn't such an exciting prospect.

As a psychotherapist, I have seen first-hand that many people struggle with the prospect of rejoining the world and no longer being able to hide away. In March and April, many clients speak about their feelings of anxiety and unhelpful thinking patterns in anticipation of this particular time of year. Whilst some can't wait for the longer, hopefully warmer evenings, to get out and about and meet friends, for others, the idea causes anxiety and is sometimes a 'wake-up call' that something is not right.

For people living with anxiety or depression, with generalised anxiety disorder or social phobia, the combination of lockdown restrictions and winter weather created something of a safety net. Nobody else was going outside, nor was there any pressure to do so, which made it much easier to hide away from the world. Everyone else, after all, was doing the same. It gave us the perfect excuse to hide away and not feel bad about doing so.

"It is a joy to be hidden and a disaster not to be found"

Psychoanalyst, D W Winnicott's quote resonates with many of us. How wonderful it is, if we are very lucky, to make the most of warm homes on cold, dark nights. Winter gives us the opportunity for much-needed downtime, without the pressure of being on the go, facing the world and socialising. However, with spring upon us, the landscape is different.

We might have friends who are extremely excited about 'going out' and pressuring us to make plans and arrangements. And this might highlight a number of responses. You might worry about not being able to feel the same excitement. You might just feel generally anxious at the idea of more activity in the streets and parks around where you live. 

Even if you can't see them, you can somehow 

 them – the great mass of people out and about and 'having fun'. Many emotions are associated with this period; it is a particularly hard time for those struggling with their mental health. This is the time that can highlight how actually, some people want to stay hidden and not be found.

When people begin to recognise that they find it difficult to face the world and they want to stay hidden, some are ready to make changes and it's at this point we see them make the first move with a call, a message or an email. It's a big step but it's an exciting one. Great therapy offers the opportunity to explore with the client what's going on. What are the challenges? What are the feelings? What are the patterns of behaviour? 

As we work with clients confidentially, kindly and without judgement, we can fully explore the issues they are facing and really understand what is going on. Together we can then see that there are choices, even when there seemed to be no choices before. And when choices emerge, change can become possible. For clients this is ultimately about leading the best life that they can life; a more fulfilling life. And through this we usually see improved relationships with those around them and a life lived with meaning.

As we embark on this spring period, it is important to remember to put yourself first – to not always give into the pressure and be kind to yourself. But if this time of year is daunting, if you realise that you want to stay hidden, this could be the moment to try to understand why. This could be the time to explore the reasons that stop you, if you prefer to hide, from fully participating in the world and from living your most fulfilling life. There's a time to hide, to be cosy and to hunker down and there are times to be in the world with others. Therapy can help us understand how we function in the world throughout the seasons and in all the different parts of our lives and with all the people in it. And it gives us the opportunity to understand our choices and the possibility for change.