Paul Kemp is an online therapist

What attracted you to become a therapist?

I was attracted by the idea of helping people while having a career that was in line with my personal values. I also liked the idea of having a job where being authentic, caring, curious and mindful were not only desirable but essential traits. 

And on a more personal level, I enjoy how being an independent therapists give me the space and time I need to live my life in a slower more mindful, and authentic pace for me. Which comes with it's own sacrifices, but also comes with some valuable benefits.

Where did you train? 

I trained at Northern Guild School for Counselling and Psychotherapy. It has offices in Newcastle Upon Tyne and Stockton-On-Tees, which was perfect for me as it was very local.

It was a good school. It took an integrative approach which is very good for people with different approaches and styles. The tutors and other staff members were really nice. And they are also a counselling provider in their own right.

Can you tell us about the type of therapy you practise?

One of the core approaches is transactional analysis. I didn’t so much choose as was given it by my training provider. I had no idea what it was beforehand, so I was open to learn more about it. It quickly became the basis from which I approach many aspects of my work, be that treatment planning, interventions, or psychoeducation.

As well as transactional analysis, I have, in recent years, explored the clinical applications of Buddhist teachings within the therapeutic space. This interest developed naturally when I began my own spiritual journey, but before long, I found that Dharmic/Buddhist principles have a lot of overlap with therapeutic techniques. From using mindfulness in the therapy room to using the Eightfold Noble Path as a framework for ethical practice.

In the future, I aspire to learn more about narrative therapy and also IFS therapy. I find them very interesting and wonder if they have a potential to work well together.

How does transactional analysis help?

TA can be useful with clients who are seeking to gain an understanding to emotional processes that may have been elusive to them. TA can give the therapist and client a shared language that not only helps build the therapeutic alliance, but it can give the client a something to take with them into their life outside the therapy room.

For example, introducing a client to the P.A.C Model allows us to analyse specific conversations they have had in their life can be very helpful. The client becomes aware of the emotional energy behind the way they relate to people and the role or position they are relating from e.g. “Am I in Child? Was I in Parent?” and from this understanding, the client can then make the decision to stay or move into different states in a way that serves them.

Additionally, the use of script analysis can help clients understand why they hold certain core beliefs and to be able to re-write that script. Knowing that our habits and processes are not only understandable but changeable can empower clients to make the right changes in their life.

What sort of people do you usually see?

I am open to individual adult clients from backgrounds. I have been fortunate enough to have a wide variety of clients come my way, the youngest being 19, the oldest being 77. I have seen people from all walks of life: priests, parents, salespeople, content creators to name a few.

Have you noticed any recent mental health trends or wider changes in attitude?

I have noticed that people are becoming more aware of mental health related language. In the past, I imagine people had less ways of explaining what is going on in their processes than we do now. And although I experience some people using language in ways that isn’t always helpful (pathologising or attaching themselves to a label because it makes them feel interesting), we’re living in a world where being are becoming more equipped to express their feelings, which I think can only be a good thing in the long run.

What do you like about being a therapist?

I love helping people in a way that feels authentic to me. I enjoy not feeling like I have to be someone I’m not. I also love how my development as a person can only make me better at my job. Every book I read, place I go, and person I meet is some form of professional development. And to know that I can use my experiences to help people is a very rare gift, I feel.

What is less pleasant?

Sometimes it can be easy to fall into this trap of feeling like you have to be on top of everything in order to be a good therapist. It is easy to forget that above everything, we’re human beings with our own processes and issues. So when I find myself doubting my abilities, or even my worthiness to be someone who helps people in this way, it can be a bit lonely.

Also, it can sometimes be hard to switch of your therapist head when you go into your personal life. The skillset needed to do this line of work is so intimately woven with our personal identity that it is hard to be with loved ones or friends and find yourself analysing their processes in a similar way. It takes some practice to not be a counsellor around all human beings! It is also annoying when people you know personally think that just because you’re a counsellor that you should be their counsellor, that grinds my gears a little!

How long have you been with Welldoing and what you think of us?

I am very much a newbie on the platform. As of writing this, I have only been on the platform for a couple of weeks. And I’m loving it! I get such a good vibe from the team. I have attended the weekly CPD sessions and the monthly peer support group and I am already enjoying it.

What books have been important to you in terms of your professional and personal development? Do you ever recommend books to clients?

I would say that Love’s Executioner by Dr Irvin Yalom had been really instrumental in my career. I just love how honest and candid he is about his process. I always value seeing other practitioners being that way because it has such a validating effect. Being a counsellor can be quite lonely sometimes as you’re in the counselling room alone in many ways. And reading his book always helps me remember that there are as many approaches to therapy as there is therapists and they’re all completely valid (if done ethically, of course!)

And as an honourable mention, I often re-read the ethical framework from the BACP as it is such an effective cornerstone for my practice.

What you do for your own mental health? 

I enjoy being creative, so I like to channel a lot of my feelings into writing, art, and music. I also enjoy going out into nature where everything feels simpler.I am also a big believer in injecting a little bit of silliness into your day. So, I enjoy having fun with my loves ones or letting my inner child out.

You are an online therapist. What can you share with us about seeing clients in this way?

I currently don't work face-to-face with local clients, but I have done in the past (during training). Now I work solely as an online therapist. I come from an area that is largely working class, and therefore there is a greater strain on the NHS IAPT services. And within the larger discussion about therapy, people tend to see it as more medical, i.e they would go to the doctor before searching for a private therapist. This might just be my limited scope, but that is something I always notice.

What do you wish people knew about therapy?

That the success of your therapeutic depends on how much of yourself you’re willing to put into it. And that the change comes from the client and not the therapist.

It reminds me of that joke:

Q: How many therapists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, but the lightbulb has to want to change.

What did you learn about yourself in therapy?

I learned that I can do it! And that I am more capable than I thought I was. Who’d have thunkit?!