Do you ever suggest books or apps to clients?
Being an integrative counsellor I have benefitted from learning a lot about different models and come across some interesting books along the way, some of which are listed here. I often mention books to clients and also in clinical supervision to other counsellors. None of these books are too lengthy and offer down to earth ideas that are easy to adopt:
Counselling for Toads Robert De Board - a plain English explanation of what counselling is and how it can help people.
Games People Play Eric Berne - From the father of Transactional Analysis this is a helpful guide to the psychology of relationships within family, friends, colleagues or partners.
60 Tips for Self-Esteem Lynda Fields - a handy guide that gives the reader snappy yet informative ways to boost their self-confidence.
Rescuing the Inner Child Penny Parks - a superb breakdown of different aspects of therapy for adults who were sexually abused as children.
Creating Success Andrew Bradbury - Develop your NLP skills - a concise and easy to read guide to Neuro Linguistic Programming, a model that can be used in with other therapies to enhance aspects such as positive thinking, goal setting and building quality relationships.
I tend to encourage self-sustained relaxation exercises, physical exercise and good nutrition rather than apps to help clients. Some clients suffer from over-exposure to their phone or the opposite are on the verge of being a technophobe.
What you do for your own mental health?
I am also a massage therapist so believe in taking a holistic approach for my clients and in looking after my own physical and mental health. My mantra is that 'I need to be okay, before I can help you to be okay.' One analogy that clients seem to relate well to is that when on a plane the air crew give a safety presentation and state that:-
"You should put your own oxygen mask on before helping anyone else with their." I encourage self-prioritisation to clients and this example seems to reaffirm the meaning of that perfectly.
In order to maintain my mental health I do relaxation and breathing exercises daily. Also I exercise about six times a week run, cycle or gym . On any days that I don't exercise I'll do something gentler such as have a massage, a walk or watch a hypnotherapy DVD.
Where do you practice? What can you share with us about seeing clients in those areas?
I conduct online sessions covering the whole of the UK and face-to-face sessions in Cumbria and Dumfries and Galloway. I experience all walks of life and professions including some people from employee assistance programmes EAP .
I hope to broaden my online private client base across the UK through welldoing.org's directory. Also, now that people are allowed to attend face-to-face sessions, it would be great to see more EAP clients who live and work locally.
What's your consultation room like?
My room is in Carlisle Therapies, 34 Lowther Street, CA3 8DH, which is conveniently located in the centre of Carlisle. Situated in a large Georgian townhouse, the room benefits from large windows and natural light. It's to the rear of the property so isn't affected by traffic noise. It is possible to have the chairs more than two metres apart to ensure social distancing.
What do you wish people knew about therapy?
I'd like people to know that therapy doesn't have to be the last resort and that they have to keep it a secret from friends and family. As a nation we need to be able to attend sessions with a therapist and be proud of that in order; this will allow us to feel comfortable in being in charge of our own destiny. British culture is still awkwardly stationed about the 'stiff upper lip syndrome'; this needs to change to make us a healthier nation.
What did you learn about yourself in therapy?
I learned: whatever you have an issue with, there is always someone who can help you.
