Meet the Therapist: Gary McFarlane
Gary McFarlane is an online counsellor and EMDR therapist
What attracted you to become a therapist?
I was a solicitor for over 20 years. I did a full career switch in 2012, having gone to therapy “kicking and screaming” because my own childhood insecure attachment stuff caught up with me in my 40s and took out my 18 year marriage.
Where did you train?
Relate
Can you tell us about the type of therapy you practise?
Eclectic (from Relate): psychodynamic, systemic, CBT, basic transactional analysis, EMDR. Most of the therapy I offer is solution-focused.
How does your style of therapy help with symptoms of addiction?
I work a lot with sex, porn and love addiction. The way I work includes significant psychoeducation, and then tool giving, which empowers clients.
What sort of people do you usually see?
I work with adults and couples.
Have you noticed any recent mental health trends or wider changes in attitude?
We are only just beginning to see the fall-out from the impact of the Covid-19 lockdowns.
Significant numbers worldwide developed some form of compulsion during the Covid-19 lockdowns, as methods used to manage emotions and self-soothe.
What do you like about being a therapist?
Same as when I was a lawyer: helping people. But additionally, as a therapist, I have the privilege of journeying with clients to move the trajectory of their life into a different direction, one that they prefer. I can help them to become the best that they can be.
How long have you been with Welldoing and what you think of us?
I've been a “sleeping observer” since maybe 2014, but am now “seeing the light”!
What books have been important to you in terms of your professional and personal development? Do you ever recommend books to clients?
Currently, Jim Knipe’s EMDR Toolbox – so good. Also Who Moved My Cheese. Yes, I refer clients to books, but a skill that I have is helping to make complex things easy for clients.
What you do for your own mental health?
EMDR 4 elements tools: breathing, suck a lemon, calm place, with tapping. Also supervision, and Minister, and much prayer.
You are an online therapist. What can you share with us about seeing clients in this way?
I have worked online for 14 years and have a Certificate in Online Therapy. Post-Covid-19, I built an office in the garden and released my office space. Therefore, decided not to go back to in-person, since my client base is all over the world. I'm based in Weston-Super-Mare.
What do you wish people knew about therapy?
It is not a sign of weakness to seek a helping hand from time to time. That is how we were designed.
What did you learn about yourself in therapy?
“Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all”.
“Oh – it’s Gary of course”
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