Anna Nemeth is a therapist in South East London and online

What attracted you to become a therapist?

I always loved talking to people, and I found that they tended to open up to me quite quickly. You know how some people say “I hate hearing about other people’s dreams”? That was never me. I always found what people told me endlessly interesting.

My own therapy also had a huge impact on my wanting to be a therapist. I think realising how much you can change, and how much you can discover about the world through therapy was a huge push towards my own practice.

Where did you train?

I qualified for a PgDip in Integrative Coaching and Counselling at the University of East London after studying psychology for years. I had a Masters in International Relations, then started my therapist training: first I tried a couple semesters of a psychology programme in Hungary, then I moved to the UK, and took courses Psychology Conversion at Arden University, after which I did my Certificate in Therapeutic Skills & Studies at the Metanoia Institute, and then my PGDip.

During this time, I also volunteered as a bereavement counsellor at a hospice, and I completed placements in a substance abuse service and at a low-cost counselling service.

Can you tell us about the type of therapy you practise?

I practise integrative therapy, which means that I have some knowledge of a lot of different modalities, and I can choose from them what ways or tools work best for what my client wants to achieve or how they like to work.

I like integrative, as it allows me to adapt therapy for each client. Philosophically, the psychodynamic modality is the closest to my heart, which means that the foundations of how I think about the world, change in client, and client-therapist relationships are very much influenced by psychoanalytic traditions.

How does integrative therapy help with symptoms of depression?

While the goals of therapy differ for each client, I think by and large, we always work on strengthening the client’s sense of agency, self-and others’ acceptance, and the capacity to form meaningful relationships.

What sort of people do you usually see?

I usually see individuals, though I have just started a couples’ therapy training.

I see people across a wide range of ages and backgrounds, oftentimes about grief, depression, anxiety, existential questions, or intimate relationships.

Have you noticed any recent mental health trends or wider changes in attitude?

I think there may be a larger acceptance of people going to therapy on a societal level. Lots of people are working on destigmatising mental health issues, and giving practical tips for better mental health - which is lovely.

While I think every time in human history had its own difficulties, and some things don’t change, I think we do see higher levels of anxiety and isolation than before. Part of it is anxiety around the climate catastrophe, part of it is the 24/7 news cycle, the abundance of choice we deal with, changing norms in romantic relationships (e.g.: ghosting), the impact of Covid. A lot of things have changed in a very short period of time.

What do you like about being a therapist?

It’s an absolute privilege to be able to be of service to people. The type of connection you have during a session – the attention paid to each other – is unlike any other relationship.

What is less pleasant?

Being able to practise as a therapist is an immense privilege but I do find the paperwork trying at times.

How long have you been with Welldoing and what you think of us?

I think Welldoing does a better job than most sites in giving people an overview of how people work. Choosing a therapist can be difficult, and Welldoing does a good job of introducing people.

Being a therapist in private practice also means you work without colleagues, so I enjoy how Welldoing creates a therapist community (CPD sessions, peer support groups).

What books have been important to you in terms of your professional and personal development? Do you ever recommend books to clients?

Too many to list! Freud says in On The Question of Lay Analysis that the one of most important things that therapists can do is read books. Professionally, Nancy McWilliams’ books have had a huge impact on me, as well as Character Styles by Stephen Johnson, Paul L Wachtel’s Therapeutic Communication, Glenn Gabbard’s Long-Term Psychodynamic Psychotherapy, and Deborah Luepnitz’s Schopenhauer's Porcupines.

As a Hungarian, I also love Gabor Mate, as well as Edith Eger, and Andrew Feldmar. For my personal development, I think every fiction book I read added to me, whether they are classics (I love Tolstoy, Dickens, EM Forster, Flaubert, Eliot) or modern classics (Labatut, Lockwood, Schlee). I try to read widely – it’s the second best way, after talking to someone, to take a step outside ourselves and see the world differently.

I don’t often recommend books, but some that come up are The Choice by Edith Eger – I think it’s a wonderful book about the prisons we get put in, and how we get out of them, and that the possibility of change is always there. I also sometimes recommend Rachel Aviv’s Strangers to Ourselves if we’re talking about what “mental health” means.

What do you do for your own mental health?

I go to therapy, I have supervision, and I try to have routines which are beneficial for me.

You are a therapist in London. What can you share with us about seeing clients in this area?

I practice both online and in London, so I see a wide range of geographies, but mostly people living in urban areas, which may have some specific anxieties attached.

What’s your consultation room like?

When I practise online, the room is very secure and quiet. For in-person appointments, I rent rooms in a thoughtfully decorated townhouse in South London.

What do you wish people knew about therapy?

Two things come to mind: the first is that many people may have a mental image, influenced by pop culture, of therapy being about delving into their childhood and analysing every micro-interaction there. But in my experience, therapy is about the here-and-now: its focus is to help see clearly what is happening in the present.

The other is that going to therapy can be as much of an investment as going to the gym. Or contributing to your pension. The most important relationship you have is the one with your own self, so it’s a good investment to be working on it.

What did you learn about yourself in therapy?

That a lot of the things that I thought were unacceptable about myself are actually OK.