Suki Bassi is a counsellor in London

What attracted you to become a therapist?

I always wanted to be able to give back in some way and help people. I use to run my own nail salon and my clients would sit opposite me and talk, it was a place where they could come and speak freely, I guess I was doing that for years before getting “officially” trained. I feel people need human interaction and connection, it is important and very therapeutic. I love to listen and feel one of the most important things we can do is really give someone your attention and listen actively.

Where did you train as a therapist? 

I trained at The Counselling Foundation in St Albans, I had an amazing cohort of ambitious and strong women from various backgrounds and each bringing their own unique life experiences. All the tutors were so generous with their knowledge and their time. You feel supported and held, I still work there as an associate every Wednesday afternoons.

Can you tell us about the type of therapy you practise?

The modality I work with is psychodynamic, this type of therapy works with looking at how our unconscious thoughts, our past experiences and early childhood experiences shape your current behaviour, emotions and relationships. So, the focus is not just on surface level triggers or symptoms. Psychodynamic looks at the root cause of your emotional distress. This type of therapy is deeply insightful and allows for self-reflection. This was what attracted me this modality, I think I’m a little ‘old school’, I don’t just want the quick fix, I’m interested in psychology, why people do and behave the way they do. I read a book where they state the importance of understanding “what happened to you” – that resonated with me and I carry that curiosity with every client I embark on a therapeutic journey with. I also value relationships, when I take on a client I commit to their wellbeing journey, I walk alongside them to empower them to live their full authentic life.

How does psychodynamic therapy help with relationship difficulties?

Psychodynamic is based on a strong alliance with your therapist, and its through this alliance (relationship) between client and therapist that unconscious communication (via transference and counter-transference) comes to play in the therapy room. I have often described it as ‘magic’ when it comes into the room. Ultimately, it’s the relationship that fosters the change and “aha” moments in the clients life. This is particularly helpful when clients don’t see or are unconsciously repeating patterns for example picking the “wrong” partner or seeing an imbalance in their relationships that leads to frustration. Through psychodynamic therapy the client unconsciously brings this into the therapy room and we can explore and unpack where that thought pattern comes from. It can be a coping mechanism they adopted from childhood that is no longer serving them. It’s all very insightful and most importantly it’s a safe space, where the client feels secure and not judged.

I also incorporate some CBT tools that allow the client to take away and work on some of the symptoms like anxiety from overthinking and perfectionism. I have a particular interest in body and mind connection and work with principles around breathwork and body awareness. I was brought up a Sikh, culturally grew up with seeing the benefits of practicing meditation and mindfulness, I find that mind and body connection helps when working with clients to understand why they feel the way they do and how breathing can help regulate and them with difficult memories.

What sort of people do you usually see?

I work with adults aged 18 and over from a wide range of backgrounds. Every client is unique, and I value the individuality they bring to therapy. Being from a culturally diverse background myself, I have experienced first-hand issues with identity and ‘fitting in’.
I believe I am skilled at recognising patterns and helping clients explore feelings and experiences they may not previously have felt safe enough to discuss. I have particular experience supporting clients through life transitions, including bereavement, questions of identity, menopause and divorce. I also value working with gay clients and providing a safe space to explore experiences of loss and struggle that may have remained unspoken.

Have you noticed any recent mental health trends or wider changes in attitude?

There has never been a better time to see a therapist. Despite the rise of social media, many of us are experiencing greater isolation and loneliness than ever. As social beings, the quality of our lives is closely linked to the quality of our relationships. This is why I believe my role as a therapist—and the therapeutic alliance I build with each client—is especially important to their wellbeing.

What do you like about being a therapist?

Lots of things…the people I meet, the small steps clients make – I especially love pointing these out, progress no matter how small is a step in the right direction. I like seeing people taking ownership of their lives and wanting to be the best versions of themselves, not just for others but for themselves too. I love the work I do and how it makes my clients feel. I feel good knowing I am providing them with a safe space to explore. I think of therapy as a solid anchor in a world that can feel overwhelming at times. Its grounding and very powerful.

What is less pleasant?

It can be difficult to hear about client’s experiences of loss and/or trauma, particularly when they have carried them alone for many years. I really feel that.

How long have you been with Welldoing and what you think of us?

I am new to Welldoing, I read the article in The Sunday Times and thought I would like to be part of that, so here I am.

What books have been important to you in terms of your professional and personal development? Do you ever recommend books to clients?

I have read many books and I love to get recommendations and so do like to reciprocate with clients and colleagues. I often get my recommendations from podcast, like the book I’m currently reading is by a psychoanalyst called Galit Atlas, called Come Closer. she talks about how understanding our childhood experiences gives us the insight we need to be closer to others in a truly satisfying, longer lasting and meaningful way. This aligns with what I was talking about earlier, the need for human connection.

During my training the books that really stood out for me were;

The Centre Cannot Hold by Eyln R.Saks, this gave me an astonishing account of living with a mental illness and through the author you learn how to be that therapeutic friend. This was affirming for me that I knew what I was choosing to embark upon as a career choice that could help someone.

Why Love Matters by Sue Gerhardt. This book explains why loving relationships are essential to brain development in the early years. It addresses the crucial issue of what we need to recognise if we are to be more understanding of ourselves and each other and promote the health and well-being of future generations. I love this book and have recommended to clients and it’s been helpful in my personal growth.

What you do for your own mental health?

I like to move my body, I train my body regularly, movement helps me and gives me that space I need. I also had my own therapist for almost three years, it was very insighful and I truly believe it has helped me become the person I am today. I also have a good support of family and friends around me which I feel helps me.

You are a therapist in London W1G. What can you share with us about seeing clients in this area?

I have only recently started working in the area, so I am still getting to know it. I chose Cavendish Square because of its convenient location being central and accessible. It is a stone’s throw from Oxford Circus Underground station. The area attracts a diverse community with a varied mix of professionals, commuters and local residents. I hope this central setting will make my practice accessible and welcoming to people who both live and work nearby.

What’s your consultation room like?

I would describe it as being warm, cosy, professional and welcoming. I have created a space with the client being at the core, it’s not about distractions or colour. I wanted to create a safe place where my clients feel contained and safe.

What do you wish people knew about therapy?

I often want to say that when you have a personal trainer it is to achieve certain goals or fitness challenges. Therapy is the same – but it’s for your mind, its working on the inside, but having a space where you can focus soley on your own wellbeing and emotional needs. I feel everyone would benefit from having therapy, it allows space for clarity of thought, a sound board. A space to talk and explore, I feel we underestimate the power of talking something out. They say ‘the opposite of depression is expression’ – I think a lot of power comes from having a space to speak freely, not feeling judged or being told or offered a solution. Simply being present with your thoughts and having the courage to sit with things that life keeps you busy from sitting with, its empowering.

What did you learn about yourself in therapy?

I have always had good friends and didn’t think I would benefit from therapy, I thought of it as being a little self-indulgent, but I was quite the opposite. I found therapy liberating, it quietens the outside noise and allowed me to accept and understand myself. The moments of reflection in the therapy room were eye opening to my blind spots, I was repeating unhealthy patterns and felt stuck. Therapy allowed me to make better decisions on a daily basis, these changes have had a profound positive impact on my life. Not everything requires my attention and energy I learnt to set up healthy boundaries in my life and learnt that care and love for myself is just as important as what I give to everyone else.