Dear Therapist,
I’m quite envious of my friends with religious backgrounds. In a world full of stress and uncertainty, it feels like having a spiritual anchor would be a real source of strength. It’s just something that’s never been part of my life. I’ve tried “shopping around” for a faith community, but the traditions and stories never seem to resonate with me the way they do for friends who grew up with them. Should I keep trying and hope something eventually clicks?
Signed,
Seeking Something Bigger
Dear Seeking,
It makes sense that you’re longing for something that offers steadiness and meaning in a turbulent world. Religion and spirituality often do that — they give people a sense of purpose, hope, and belonging.
But it’s worth noting that religion and spirituality aren’t the same thing. Religion is organized — a shared set of beliefs, rituals, and institutions. Spirituality, on the other hand, is more personal. An inner sense of connection to something larger — mystery, meaning, nature, creativity, love. For some, religion is the path to that connection; for others, spirituality is something they shape on their own.
You might explore what spirituality means for you, personally. When do you feel most alive, most grounded, most at peace? That feeling of awe or depth — in silence, in nature, in art, in community — can be spiritual experiences. Ask yourself: What feels sacred to me? What do I most value? When do I feel connected to something beyond myself? Then, choose small, repeatable rituals — daily, weekly, or seasonal — that help you nurture that connection. I find having a combination of practices that create stillness, embodiment and inspiration to be a powerful combination. You could experiment with:
- Contemplative practices such as mindfulness, journaling, or loving-kindness meditation.
- Embodied forms like yoga, qigong, or simply walking or swimming in nature with awareness.
- Creative expression — writing poetry, drawing, reading myth, or reflecting on archetypal symbols.
- Community or service — volunteering, joining a discussion circle, or engaging in work that reflects your values.
Spiritual life doesn’t have to be inherited; it can be created. Think of this as an open-ended exploration rather than a search for the “right” faith. The path you build for yourself may become just the anchor you’re longing for.
Yours,
Kelly Hearn
