Nadir Mothojakan

With a calm disposition, and respect for individual differences, I work with adults from diverse backgrounds and age-groups and use different perspectives to understand their journey and challenges. Working with Personal Loss Everyone goes through grief. It is a response to any significant loss, losing a loved one, a relationship, or other major life changes; grief is not a linear process, everyone experiences grief differently, no one should have to walk through it alone. Since working as a counsellor, I have become more aware of my personal loss at 7, feeling sad about losing my mother, I leaned on my father for emotional support. At 17, when he died after an occupational accident, I thought I could manage. His absence left me with a strong desire for secure relationship. With my siblings' help, I felt secure. As I endured more losses, I experienced a wide range of emotions, such as anger, anxious, sadness, and wrestled with low self-esteem. I found temporary comfort by concentrating on practical activities and avoiding situations and conversations about grief. However, when clients speak about the experiences of parental death during childhood, I feel the separation and the shock of sudden death, grief and loss, I acknowledge their experiences. With supervision and personal therapy, I found new ways to express my emotions and learnt to understand the meanings of grief and accept my losses. I found that, by listening non-judgementally, I felt ready to validate their feelings. Yet, loss is more complex - what is often called ‘ambiguous loss’-where someone is physically present but emotionally or mentally absent, for example, due to dementia or long-term health conditions. In my practice, I also help the client explore other personal issues to gain more understanding of the challenges that are present, such as abuse, neglect, trauma, being abandoned during childhood. Sometimes, past experiences can affect our daily living in the present. I aim to help the client pace the session to their needs. Professional Development To develop my practice, I attended professional programmes. Now, I regularly update my skills through trainings. Recent CPD includes a Professional Certificate in Coping with Abandonment in Abusive Relationships, Advanced Training in Bereavement and Loss, Trauma-informed Practice, Anger Management, and collaborating with Adult Adopted Clients. Clinical Experience. My experience spans a wide range of settings, I have worked in Counselling Agencies with survivors of abuse, trauma, and grief, supported individuals living with long-term health conditions, by helping them cope with the emotional and psychological impact of their illness. I worked with adults who experienced childhood emotional deprivation and impact of trauma. I ran health awareness groups and provided vital support during the pandemic for those struggling with COVID-related losses and transitions. After completing the Master programme in Counselling at Goldsmiths College, I have been working independently.