What is imposter syndrome?

A mental state and way of thinking that leaves you doubting your abilities and worth to the extent that you carry a persistent fear that you are going to be exposed as a fraud.

Where does imposter syndrome come from?

Imposter syndrome is fundamentally rooted in a negative core belief about the self. These negative beliefs are not based on any kind of evidence. They tend to be learnt and picked up through a person’s childhood and their experience of themselves in the world and of others around them.

 Some of the common beliefs can be:

• I am not good enough,
• I am not capable of doing this job, 
• I am not able to hold a conversation with this intelligent person as they are better than me, 
• I’m stupid,
• I am a fraud, 
• I’ve fluked my way here, 
• I’m going to get found out. 

These beliefs can be rigid and inflexible, and it doesn’t matter if all evidence proves them wrong. You could have a wall covered with certificates showing off all your academic achievements and other people in your field coming up to congratulate you on your latest endeavour, but if you’re suffering from imposter syndrome then behind the successful mask you’re wearing, you will feel self-conscious, underqualified and fraudulent. Achievements and success don’t sink in deep enough to shift and heal negative core beliefs. This evidence of your achievements is known on a surface, cognitive, thinking level but it is not something you fundamentally believe in. They may give a brief reprieve but the internal voices sharing the damaging dialogue always return. What you truly believe are these negative things about your Self. 

Letting go of core beliefs

Yes, it can take a lot of hard work and yes, it would mean doing a deep dive into getting to know yourself a lot better and working on things from your past but be encouraged that it is possible to change. Impostor syndrome is something you can work through and let go of.

• Identify your core beliefs by making them conscious. Once the belief has become conscious you can work towards disproving it and shifting it into something more positive. 
• Identify the voice behind the core belief.  If you can hear the voice belongs to a parent or an aggressive teacher, you can separate the belief away from yourself and understand this isn't your own voice talking but that of another, making it easier to let go of.
• Install positive core beliefs.  Create positive pathways in your brain with repetition of positive self-beliefs.  Start small if it makes you feel uncomfortable but the more you talk positively to yourself, the more you’ll believe it.  

Symptoms of imposter syndrome and how to tackle them

Perfectionism and procrastination

If something is done perfectly then no mistakes can be found and this proves that you are worthy of your position. But perfection is not achievable so trying to attain it can make you feel like an impostor when you don't. Procrastination piggybacks onto perfectionism as putting things off is a great way to avoid discovering you're not perfect.

How to help with perfectionism:

Swap being perfect for being good enough. Understand perfectionism is an impossibility but being good enough is attainable and realistic. Realism is paramount to having a healthy mindset. If you can be realistic about what's possible and what is achievable then it is more likely you will enjoy the journey and be happy within yourself that you've tried your best and were good enough.

Self-sabotage

The impostor finds it comforting to self sabotage. They don't believe in their own ability so it's much easier to self sabotage than to put oneself forward and risk being ‘found out’. Sabotaging yourself makes sure you never have to challenge yourself and means you can avoid feeling like an impostor. It is often driven by fear of failure and often that fear is irrational.

How to help with self-sabotage:

Accept your genuine ability. If you're honest about your ability, then you can push yourself as hard as you can and hopefully be happy with the end result as it will be within realistic parameters of what you're capable of. Self sabotage can be worn like a comfort blanket and putting yourself out there and challenging yourself can be daunting and even scary. So take small steps and encourage yourself slowly.  Remember it's a journey so slowly build up your resilience to not getting everything right all the time.   

Loneliness

Loneliness can be particularly prevalent for those suffering from impostor syndrome. It comes when you are not feeling a connection with people around you and when you are not connecting internally with yourself. If you're trying to live a life that doesn't resonate with who you are in your being then you can feel you have abandoned yourself and abandonment is one of the most potent ingredients to feeling lonely.

How to help with loneliness:

If you've lost touch with the parts of yourself that make you feel alive with energy because you've spent so long trying to be someone who isn't really you, then the first step is getting back in touch with those parts. Understand what makes you feel energised, explore jobs, hobbies, friendship groups that help you feel better in yourself. Identify avoidant behaviours that keep you out of connection with others such as overworking and see if you can reduce these. Slowly allow yourself to connect with the difficult feelings that drive you to avoid showing yourself to others by letting them in gently and building up your tolerance to them. Once you're able to sit with them, they'll have less power to drive you into that lonely space.

Shame

Imposter syndrome can latch itself to shame because if you feel you are faking it then you may feel ashamed of yourself. This can be very difficult to cope with. The first sign of shame is to avoid being in your own company therefore you are often trying to find ways to distract yourself whether it’s constantly watching TV, overworking or scrolling through social media. Extreme distraction habits include addiction in all its forms. These habits are distracting you away from your being as you can't tolerate being with yourself so by learning to go towards feelings of shame and tackling them can help you reduce them.

How to help with shame:

Build self-compassion by really checking the language you use to talk to yourself and make sure you only use words that you would use towards your best friends. Bring in an ally by identifying a character who you can have by your side as your biggest supporter. This can be imaginary or a character from your favourite book or movie but imagine they're on your team 100% and won't put up with negative talk. Shame and impostor syndrome feed on silence so share your feelings in a safe place with people you can trust to be kind and compassionate towards you. Speaking up can hugely help to diminish shame’s potency.