Meet the Therapist: Stephanie Daly

Stephanie Daly is an online therapist based in Bromley

What attracted you to become a therapist?

I was a beauty therapist for 10 years prior to becoming a counsellor and I enjoyed being with people and helping them to feel good about themselves not only physically but mentally. I was always told I was a good listener.

The pandemic came at the right time, it meant I could study and learn new skills whilst I waited for the world to go back to a state of normality.

Where did you train?

I trained at Heartwood College for Counselling and Psychotherapy. Originally it was online but for my final two years, our college rented rooms in Regent’s University which was a beautiful building opposite Regent’s Park in London. 

Can you tell us about the type of therapy you practise?

As an integrative counsellor, I can choose which types of therapies suit the clients at the right time. I use CBT to help my clients get quick results, gestalt for clients to feel and be able to process their emotions and person-centred to build a deeper understanding of how these issues have begun and how we can help improve their lives for the foreseeable future. 

How does CBT help?

I find that most symptoms can be helped with the use of CBT tools. I give my clients optional “homework” to help ease symptoms of stress, anxiety, fear. It gives quick results and helps our work progress further.

What sort of people do you usually see?

I usually work with adults but I am currently doing a course to be able to work with children and adolescents. It doesn’t matter the age, I enjoy spending time with all ages as I believe that therapy should be accessible. 

Have you noticed any recent mental health trends or wider changes in attitude?

I believe that social media has become a nuisance for self-diagnosing and misunderstanding psychology terms. I believe in educating my clients what these words actually mean so that they can better understand themselves and be able to help themselves in the future.

What do you like about being a therapist?

I am so grateful to have worked with so many wonderful people and to see them grow in confidence; it is just so incredibly heartwarming. I believe I have the best job in the world.

What is less pleasant?

Saying goodbye to clients is the less pleasant side of being a therapist. I learn so much about their lives and look forward to hearing from them week by week and when it’s time for them to end their sessions, I find it hard that I will probably never see them again. But I remind myself that therapy is short term and I am supposed to give my clients tools to be able to cope and thrive on their own. 

How long have you been with Welldoing and what you think of us?

I have been with Welldoing for six months and I have really enjoyed the CPD sessions. They are so interesting and they get some really amazing people to host these sessions. I am also grateful for the quick responses that I get via email, they have been very supportive and it feels like a real community.

What books have been important to you in terms of your professional and personal development? Do you ever recommend books to clients?

As a person who has ADHD, I struggle to read books from cover to cover. However, I have learned a lot from the few chapters that I have read. A few books that I share with clients are 

The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk

The Empaths Survival Guide by Judith Orloff, MD

Counselling for Toads by Robert de Board

The book that helped me a lot through training was of course, the founder of person-centred therapy, Carl Rogers, On Becoming a Person as he emphasises the importance of self-acceptance and the ongoing process of personal growth. My favourite quote from the book is: “A person is a fluid process, not a fixed and static entity”.

What do you do for your own mental health?

I use grounding techniques such as walking and being mindful of my surroundings or I play a cosy game on my PC.

I regularly use coping tools that I would give to my clients such as speaking out loud about how I am feeling in the moment and taking time to have space from others to fully rest (having boundaries).

You are a therapist in Greater London. What can you share with us about seeing clients in this area?

I have worked with clients in this area but none of them were from here as I worked with clients who were fleeing domestic abuse. I also work online and most of my clients are from the North.

As someone who spends my spare time in the gaming and virtual reality worlds, I have met many people across the country and across many other countries. This has helped me to broaden my knowledge of different cultures and upbringings. 

What’s your consultation room like?

As I only work online, you will see me with a white partition, covered in ivy and fairy lights. This has been a little upgrade for my home as I have limited space and I didn’t like the blurred background for online meetings. If I didn’t have a partition you would only see a small sofa with an old cat sleeping on it and probably snoring away. 

What do you wish people knew about therapy?

I wish people knew the truth about what therapy actually is instead of assuming that it’s someone giving you advice on how to live your life. I would like them to know that opening up to a complete stranger can feel daunting but is actually comforting as they are hearing it from your perspective and the focus is entirely on you. It is fully private and confidential so that you can show complete vulnerability without judgement. 

What did you learn about yourself in therapy?

I had therapy for years before I studied to become a therapist and it changed my life considerably. I learned that I can overcome almost anything with the techniques that I have learned along the way.

For example, I suffered with PTSD as a young adult and CBT sessions meant that I could drive with my child and not feel overwhelmed, have panic attacks and flashbacks of a car accident that I was in. This meant that I found my freedom as a young woman and I could start to live again, not only for myself but for my family.