Meet the Therapist: Matthew Frener

Matthew Frener is a therapist in South West and North West London

What attracted you to become a therapist?

I was originally working in the arts and like many, found myself facing personal struggles and issues with my mental health. I began seeking therapy, which became a turning point in my life.

The relationship that I developed with my therapist was nothing short of transformative and I often say it was the power of that relationship that “loved me back to life”.

Carl Jung once spoke about the “cure by love” and that idea resonates so deeply with my experience. He believed in the power of love and human connection to heal psychological wounds, and I found that to be profoundly true in my own journey. Through the authentic and caring bond I shared with my therapist, I began to heal, grow and rediscover myself. 

That experience inspired me to become a therapist, as I wanted to offer others the same opportunity for connection, healing and transformation that I was so fortunate to receive. 

Where did you train? 

I trained at the Metanoia Institute in Integrative Psychotherapy, the National Centre for Eating Disorders and with world renowned trauma expert, Babette Rothschild.

I ‘cut my teeth’ working in one of London’s leading residential treatment facilities for recovering addicts and people with eating disorders and continue to work in healthcare organisations as well as in private practice. 

Can you tell us about the type of therapy you practise?

I am an integrative therapist, DBT practitioner, addiction and eating disorder specialist.

At the heart of my practice is the therapeutic relationship because research consistently shows that a strong, supportive therapeutic relationship is key to achieving positive outcomes. Likewise, our ability to form meaningful, reciprocal connections with others is essential to our emotional wellbeing and resilience. That’s why I take a relational approach, focusing on building a genuine connection that empowers you to navigate life’s challenges and foster healthier relationships with yourself and others. 

I work collaboratively with my clients, walking alongside them as we explore the patterns that shape their thoughts, emotions, and behaviours. By understanding these patterns, we can begin to create meaningful change with the hope of unearthing the authentic self.

Taking a holistic outlook, I believe it’s essential to consider all aspects of your life—mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual. Together, we’ll address these interconnected areas, helping you break free from unhelpful cycles and build a foundation where you can truly thrive.  

As an integrative therapist, I tailor my methods to suit the specific needs of each client and use an integration of various modalities. I firmly believe that therapy should adapt to the individual, not the other way around—there is no "one size fits all" solution. Every client brings a unique set of experiences, and to best support them, I draw on a range of therapeutic principles.

While I am rooted in relational and developmental theories, I respond to clients with intuition, empathy, and compassion, incorporating elements of person-centred therapy, psychodynamic, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT), Internal Family Systems (IFS), attachment theory, and more. 

Lastly, and most importantly, I approach therapy with an anti-oppressive lens to ensure therapy is an inclusive and empowering space for all individuals. I acknowledge the ways in which systemic inequalities, such as racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, classism, and ableism, impact mental health and wellbeing.

In my practice, this means:

• Cultural awareness and sensitivity: Recognising the influence of identity, culture, and social context in your experiences
• Power dynamics and collaboration: Valuing your lived experience and fostering an equal, respectful therapeutic relationship
• Trauma-informed and intersectional care: Understanding how oppression and trauma intersect, shaping emotions, relationships, and coping mechanisms
• Advocacy and social justice: Supporting you in navigating societal challenges while working towards personal and collective healing

Therapy should be a space where all aspects of your identity are acknowledged and validated. I strive to provide an environment where you will feel heard, respected and empowered to explore your experiences without fear of judgment and prejudice.

What do you specialise in working with?

While my form of integrative therapy is rooted in relational and developmental theories, I pull on a range of modalities to suit a client’s particular needs. I often incorporate elements of Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) into my practice and find that it is very effective. 

DBT is an evidence-based form of therapy that, since its inception, has been adapted to address a variety of mental health conditions, particularly those involving difficulties with emotional regulation, PTSD and C-PTSD, addiction and eating disorders. 

It combines cognitive behavioural techniques with concepts from mindfulness and acceptance-based practices. Through its four modules (mindfulness, emotion regulation, distress tolerance and interpersonal effectiveness), it can help individuals develop healthier ways of managing intense emotions, reducing impulsive behaviours, and improving interpersonal relationships, creating lasting change. 

What sort of people do you usually see?

I work with individuals from 18+. I also work with couples and groups. Common difficulties that clients I work with experience are: anxiety, depression, relationship difficulties, PTSD and C-PTSD, issues with identity, difficulties at work, emotion dysregulation, self-esteem issues, eating disorders (anorexia, bulimia, overeating, ARFID) addiction/alcoholism, to name a few. 

Have you noticed any recent mental health trends or wider changes in attitude?

One thing that I’ve noticed, particularly in the current climate, is the impact of global events on mental health issues. In this sense, I feel it is important to look at things systemically. 

What do you like about being a therapist?

Being able to walk alongside clients and hold space for them in the good times and bad. To be able to witness each of their journeys and to reflect on their growth… It is incredibly fulfilling and rewarding to be a part of. 

What is less pleasant?

I’d say probably the business element of running a private practice – the marketing, PR, networking events, invoicing, accounts, etc. 

How long have you been with Welldoing and what you think of us?

I have been with Welldoing for a number of years (on and off) and find that it is an excellent resource for therapists and clients alike.

The team at Welldoing have always been incredibly proactive and fast to act with any enquiries, which is always helpful.

What books have been important to you in terms of your professional and personal development? Do you ever recommend books to clients?

I sometimes recommend books to clients; it all depends on whether they are open to such resources and where they are in their process.

Key works that I often recommend are: 

1. The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael A. Singer 

This is an excellent book if you are seeking greater self-awareness, inner peace, and emotional resilience. It offers practical insights into observing thoughts and emotions without becoming overwhelmed by them.

The book can help readers break free from negative thought patterns and limiting beliefs. It uses accessible language and relatable examples, which make it especially helpful for clients struggling with anxiety, stress, or emotional regulation. Its emphasis on mindfulness, acceptance, and letting go can complement therapeutic work, encouraging clients to cultivate a sense of inner freedom.

2.The Compassionate Mind by Paul Gilbert 

This is an excellent book for clients seeking to develop greater self-compassion and emotional resilience. Grounded in Compassion-Focused Therapy (CFT), it offers practical strategies to reduce self-criticism, manage difficult emotions, and build a kinder relationship with oneself. The author explains how our brains are wired for both survival and self-protection, often leading to harsh self-judgment and emotional suffering.

By cultivating compassion, clients can soothe their inner critic, regulate overwhelming feelings, and foster emotional healing. The book’s accessible approach makes it particularly valuable for those dealing with anxiety, depression, shame, or trauma.

3.The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man’s World by Alan Downs.

This is one of the most important books I have read for my own personal development and offers a powerful exploration of the emotional challenges many gay men face in a heteronormative society.

While written from the perspective of a gay man, its themes of shame, authentic self-acceptance, and emotional resilience are universal. Downs offers a compassionate roadmap for recognising internalised shame, breaking free from the pursuit of external validation, and cultivating genuine self-worth.

Through relatable insights and personal reflection, the book provides valuable guidance for anyone seeking deeper emotional healing and authentic living. 

What you do for your own mental health? 

I still have weekly therapy and this is something that I don’t think I will stop. I find it amusing when therapists do not practise what they preach and aren’t in a therapeutic process themselves.

Additionally, and as an ethical requirement, I have weekly supervision. In my spare time, I enjoy playing the piano and singing, which I find therapeutic, mindful and calming. I also meditate daily and frequently spend time with family and friends.

Lastly, I enjoy long walks with my Australian Labradoodle, Remi (who is currently in training to become a therapy dog!)

I am a therapist in Earl’s Court, West Hampstead and online. What can you share with us about seeing clients in this area?

Earl’s Court and West Hampstead are both vibrant, diverse areas in London.

Earl’s Court has a rich multicultural presence, with a mix of long-term residents, young professionals, and international communities. It’s also known for its historical association with the LGBTQ+ community, which may mean some clients seek therapy to explore identity, relationships, or experiences of marginalisation.

Additionally, the area’s transient nature, with many expats and temporary residents, can bring challenges related to relocation, loneliness, or cultural adjustment.

West Hampstead is a more residential, family-oriented area, attracting professionals, couples, and families. Clients may present with concerns around relationship dynamics, parenting, or navigating life transitions. The area’s affluence may also mean that some clients experience the pressures of high-achieving environments, leading to stress, anxiety, or burnout.

Online therapy allows me to reach a broader range of clients, including those with demanding schedules, mobility limitations, or those who prefer the comfort of their own space. This format also makes my practice accessible to clients outside of London, perhaps those seeking a therapist with my specific expertise in addictions, eating disorders, or DBT, etc. 

What’s your consultation room like?

I find that my consultation rooms are warm, cosy, neutral, calming and regulating. Environment is important in fostering a sense of safety, the latter of which is unique to each individual and so I am always open to feedback with what would make the space more accommodating to clients. 

Both offices are conveniently located to a multitude of transport links which makes getting to and from therapy very easy! 

What do you wish people knew about therapy?

You don’t have to be in crisis to benefit from therapy. While many people seek support during times of distress, therapy can also be a space for growth, self-discovery, and building emotional resilience. It’s an opportunity to deepen your understanding of yourself, explore patterns in your thoughts and behaviours, and develop healthier ways of relating to others.

Therapy offers a non-judgmental environment where you can reflect on your experiences, clarify your goals, and gain new perspectives. Whether you’re navigating a life transition, feeling stuck, or simply curious about personal growth, therapy can help you cultivate greater self-awareness and emotional wellbeing. 

What did you learn about yourself in therapy?

Where do I begin?... 

Through therapy, I’ve gained a deeper understanding of my own patterns of relating to others and how I treat myself. It’s helped me recognise the ways I navigate relationships, whether that’s through seeking connection, maintaining boundaries, or responding to conflict. I’ve become more aware of the beliefs and experiences that have shaped these patterns, allowing me to approach relationships with greater clarity and authenticity.

Therapy has also illuminated how I treat myself, particularly in moments of struggle. I’ve learned to soften self-criticism and cultivate self-compassion, recognising that my inner dialogue can be a powerful force for either self-support or self-sabotage. Developing a kinder, more accepting relationship with myself has not only improved my well-being but also enhanced my ability to show up for others.

These insights influence how I live and work and have helped me to foster deeper self-awareness and emotional resilience.