I have spent years sitting in academic spaces where ADHD is discussed in precise clinical language — executive functioning, dopamine pathways, emotional regulation. I have spent just as many years in therapy rooms, sitting alongside people whose diagnosed or undiagnosed ADHD is quietly, and sometimes not so quietly, constraining their lives, often without the understanding or support they need in the spaces they inhabit. 

More recently, in the aftermath of a generation-defining pandemic and the amplification effect of social media, there has been a growing tendency to dismiss ADHD altogether and to explain it away as a by-product of lockdowns, smartphones, or aspects of “modern life”. At the same time, ADHD has become increasingly visible in popular culture: celebrities self-identifying, characters written into television dramas, viral content promising quick recognition or dismissal. With visibility comes knowledge but will also bring with it scrutiny, scepticism, and judgement. It is a double-edged knife.

I sit in all of these conversations not just professionally, but personally. I recognise parts of myself in them. I may well be one of the many undiagnosed adults whose behaviours invite assumptions. And I am also a parent to a young person with ADHD, and I watched those same misconceptions attach themselves early, shaping not only how they were perceived by others, but how they began to see themselves and what they believed might be possible for their future.

ADHD is real. It is not about laziness, stupidity, and certainly not a form of madness. There are countless articles now suggesting we are in the midst of an ADHD overdiagnosis crisis. I would argue the opposite: what we are seeing is the long-delayed correction of a massive underdiagnosis. That doesn’t mean every diagnosis is perfect, nor that every difficulty stems from ADHD — and that isn’t the point. It is a distraction. I’m also not naïve enough to suggest the pandemic didn’t unsettle something fundamental, or that excessive social media use doesn’t mimic some ADHD-like symptoms. We simply don’t yet know enough. But uncertainty should not be weaponised to invalidate people’s lived realities.

This piece isn’t intended to be an academic treatise. At its core, ADHD is a neurodevelopmental difference that affects how the brain regulates attention, motivation, emotion, and action. People with ADHD often know what they need to do — but struggle with starting, sustaining, prioritising, or switching, particularly under pressure, overwhelm, or perceived judgement. Over time, these struggles don’t just remain practical; they become deeply emotional and internalised.

One of the most painful patterns I see — regardless of whether I am wearing my therapist, academic, or parent hat — is how quickly people with ADHD absorb other people’s misunderstandings. Children learn early that if they cannot begin, complete, or maintain effort in the way expected, the explanation offered is usually moral rather than neurological. They leave formative moments with explicit or implicit messages that they are lazy, careless, unmotivated, not trying, stupid, or “a bit crazy”.

By adulthood, the external critics are no longer needed. The internal voice has taken over. Neuroscience helps us understand why this happens. ADHD brains show differences in how they filter distractions and regulate dopamine, which plays a central role in motivation and reward (Osborne et al., 2023; Morsink et al., 2021). Research consistently shows that adults with ADHD experience higher rates of shame, low self-. esteem, anxiety, and depression — not because of ADHD itself, but because of years of negative feedback, misunderstanding, and unmet expectations (Ginapp et al., 2022).

This leads to one of the most misunderstood — and most dominant — features of ADHD. This is paralysis. When information, emotion, or choice becomes overwhelming, the system can shut down. From the outside, this looks like avoidance, procrastination, or apathy. From the inside, people describe it as being trapped and stuck, fully aware, wanting to move, but unable to make mind and body align. This is not laziness. It is overload.

Similarly, the emotional intensity associated with ADHD is often misinterpreted as instability. Being “too much”, “overreactive”, or “crazy” becomes the label, rather than recognising a nervous system that processes emotion with less filtering and more immediacy.

Across all my roles, I have become increasingly committed to the power of naming what is actually happening. If everything feels too much, saying “my brain is overwhelmed” is not an excuse — it is information. Many people with ADHD struggle not just with functioning, but with explaining why they function differently. While it is not anyone’s job to educate the world, it can sometimes be helpful to frame ADHD in terms of executive functioning, attention regulation, and prioritisation — not effort or willpower. Research on stigma shows that reframing ADHD as a neurodevelopmental condition rather than a behavioural problem reduces self-blame and psychological distress (Elnageeb et al, 2024).

There are also many practical strategies that can help scaffold the ADHD brain: body doubling (i.e. a person completes a task while another person is quietly present), breaking tasks into smaller steps, reducing choices, building in movement, externalising reminders, and creating meaningful rewards. These approaches don’t “fix” a broken brain — they support a different one.

In every role I hold, I watch people with ADHD navigate a world that still largely misunderstands them. This is not unique to ADHD; it extends to many neurodivergent and mental health experiences. The issue is rarely the individual. It is the assumption that difference equals deficiency.

ADHD does not mean you are lazy. It means your brain needs different conditions to thrive. The real harm doesn’t come from the difference itself, but from years of being told you should function as though that difference doesn’t exist.

References

Elnageeb, M. E., Ahmed, E. M., Adam, K. M., Edris, A. M., Ali, E. W., Eltieb, E. I., ... & Eleragi, A. M. (2024). Interdisciplinary Insights and Global Perspectives on ADHD in Children: A Comprehensive Bibliometric Analysis (2014–2024). Psychiatry International, 5(4), 616-641.

Ginapp, C. M. et al. (2022). The lived experiences of adults with ADHD. Frontiers in Psychiatry

Morsink, S. et al. (2021). Motivation and dopamine in ADHD. Journal of Attention Disorders.

Osborne, J. B. et al. (2023). Distraction and ADHD brain functioning. Frontiers in Psychiatry.