In a world where our phones are our alarm clocks, our calendars, our news sources, and our social hubs, it’s no surprise that many of us struggle with digital overuse. But when does frequent use become addiction? Unlike other forms of addiction, digital addiction is subtle — it’s often socially accepted, even encouraged, in modern life. However, if we find ourselves compulsively checking our devices, struggling to focus, or feeling anxious without our screens, it may be time to reassess our relationship with technology.

Digital addiction isn’t just about willpower; it’s about awareness, intention, and action. Some people may need deeper support, but for many, small, intentional changes can make a huge difference. If you’re wondering where to start, consider these three steps:

1. Get an outside perspective on your screen habits

Most of us don’t see our own digital habits clearly. We justify our screen time as necessary for work, harmless entertainment, or even productive self-improvement. But the people around us often see things differently.

A simple but powerful exercise is to ask the three closest people in your life how they perceive your relationship with your device. Are you fully present in conversations, or do you check your phone mid-sentence? Do they notice you scrolling aimlessly when you’re supposed to be relaxing? Their honest feedback can serve as a mirror, showing you patterns you may have ignored.

For example, one client of mine was shocked when his wife told him, “You always check your phone before you even say good morning.” He realized that his morning routine was dictated by notifications rather than his own priorities.

This step isn’t about judgment; it’s about awareness. You can’t change a habit you don’t recognise.

2. Set intentions before setting boundaries

One of the biggest mistakes people make when trying to cut back on screen time is jumping straight to restrictions—deleting apps, setting timers, or implementing ‘phone-free’ hours—without first addressing why they’re doing it.

A more effective approach comes from positive psychology, which focuses on what we want to cultivate in our lives, rather than just what we want to eliminate. Instead of simply saying, I need to stop checking my phone so much, ask yourself:

• What do I want more of in my life? (Deeper connections? More creativity? Better sleep?)
• What kind of person do I want to be? (Present with my family? Less distracted at work?)
• How can technology support these goals rather than sabotage them?

For example, if your goal is to be more present with loved ones, your intention might be: I want to fully engage in conversations without distractions. From there, you can set a meaningful boundary, such as putting your phone in another room during dinner.

By framing digital boundaries around personal values rather than restriction, you create a more sustainable approach—one that feels empowering rather than punishing.

3. Take action and create accountability

Once you’ve set your intentions, it’s time to translate them into concrete actions. But willpower alone isn’t enough—research shows that accountability is a key factor in changing habits.

Here are three practical ways to take action and create accountability:

A. Change your environment to reduce temptation

Willpower is overrated. The easiest way to reduce digital overuse is to design your environment to work for you.

• Keep your phone out of reach when working or sleeping.
• Use grayscale mode or turn off non-essential notifications.
• Create ‘tech-free zones’ at home (e.g., no phones in the bedroom or at the dinner table).

By making small adjustments to your physical space, you naturally decrease the likelihood of mindless scrolling.

B. Set digital boundaries with others

It’s easier to break a habit when those around you support the change. Be open about your intentions with family, friends, or colleagues.

For example, if you’re aiming for more focused work time, you might say: “I’m trying to reduce distractions, so I’ll only check emails twice a day.” This way, others know what to expect and can support your goal rather than unknowingly disrupting it.

Similarly, if social media is a major time sink, consider setting mutual boundaries with a friend. Agree to only use certain platforms for a limited time or to text each other before opening an app.

C. Track progress and celebrate small wins

Behavioural research shows that tracking progress boosts motivation. Keep a simple record of your digital habits—whether it’s using a screen time tracker or jotting down how often you resisted the urge to check your phone.

Most importantly, celebrate small wins. If you successfully avoided screens for the first hour of your day, acknowledge it. Progress, not perfection, is the goal.

Avoiding the digital addiction trap is about balance, not elimination

Technology isn’t inherently bad—it connects us, informs us, and enhances many aspects of life. The key is ensuring that we control our devices, rather than the other way around.

By first gaining outside perspective, setting meaningful intentions, and taking action with accountability, we can reclaim our focus, improve our wellbeing, and use technology in a way that aligns with our values.

So, what’s the first step? If you’ve asked your close people their opinion on your relationship to your device you’ll have valuable information to get you started. If you want more meaningful connections, time to work on that side hustle or simply space to boost your wellbeing, experiment with intentional breaks and get some accountability from others to experiment with a more positive approach to life.