Do You Care Too Much About What Others Think?

Jul 23, 2024

Are you always on the look out, assessing what others think of you and the decisions you make?
Jennifer Soran Boon offers her five tips for getting back to yourself and tuning out the noise

Listening to our inner voice and inner world is not something we are taught at school, in fact we are often taught the complete opposite, to listen to the numbers, the facts, the rational over the intuitive. To turn outwards for information rather than inwards. This has created a world where we are out of touch with our true inner essence and our inner wisdom and we can fall into caring too much what others think at the detriment of our own happiness and authenticity.

Perhaps you find yourself checking in a lot with those around you, finding it hard to make decisions and asking everyone around you for their opinions? Or perhaps you don’t know how to connect into your inner world and feel disconnected to what you truly want in your heart and soul. If this sounds like you. Read on.

This is the start of your journey, the journey to connecting back into you.

Get silent every day

It sounds impossible in this world of busyness, news, social media, that building work noise outside your window and generally in life. There is so much noise everywhere! Find a time or (or many micro times) every day when you can close your eyes and take a few breaths in and out connecting into your heart space. When you do, you’ll notice that there is another world – the inner world.

You may find it hard to close your eyes and connect within, you may find you are distracted and that there is every job under the sun wanting your attention. This is completely normal. When you close your eyes and allow whatever is there to rise to the surface it starts the journey into your inner world. There may be thoughts on repeat you weren’t aware of. There may be feelings you didn’t know you had within, there may be tears you aren’t quite sure what they are about. Stay there with this, with self-compassion. There may be many voices, or parts of ourselves often with conflicting views. Be OK looking in the shadows of you. We all have shadows and by accepting and acknowledging our shadow we heal and evolve.

A couple of minutes daily checking into our inner world is the first step in connecting to our inner voice.

Reflect

Our intuition often comes through in nudges – the inner nudge to call someone, or take a certain route to work ,or pick up a particular book. These nudges are always loving, gentle, and often so subtle they are barely noticeable.

Having periods of stillness and quiet gives us the chance to connect and listen to what comes up. Notice how your inner nudges come through to you. Do you get feelings in your body? An image in your mind reminding you of something? Do you hear songs in your head that give you the information you need to be aware of at that particular time?

From right now start paying attention to how information comes through to you. By noticing it, when it happens in the real time it means we are more likely to recognise and pay attention to what it is.

Patience and trust

Patience and trust are key for taking the journey within. Have patience it is all happening as it is meant to. Patience if nothing comes up initially. Patience that the information you are wanting to know is there within you – even if it doesn’t feel like it is.

Trust is also key. Trust is super hard when we are going into the unknown within. What can help with trust is making small steps. Commit to just being aware of any nudges you get within, no pressure to follow them. Writing these nudges down can really help show you that you get inner nudges all the time.

Courage is next

It takes courage to follow our intuition and it takes courage to step into the unknown. With this it really helps to start small. Maybe follow a nudge to go a different way to work, follow the nudge to call someone.

To connect into your courage, connect into your solar plexus centre, your courage centre. Imagine a beautiful golden light filling up your solar plexus chakra (the energy centre above your tummy button). Imagine it radiating out a beautiful golden yellow. Feel the connection to this light and feel it connecting you to courage. Feel it permeating all parts of you, it may help to state out loud ‘I am courage’.

Honour it

Courage is needed when we acknowledge and honour the wisdom we get and speak it out, either to ourselves or to others, we step more into the sturdiness of knowing that you, me, we get information that isn’t from a rational part of us.

We get information that is there to guide. Start with people you know who will be OK with you mentioning your inner wisdom. Be brave, when we acknowledge it, we own it more, we step into strength.

You – yes you – have inner wisdom within you. It is there to guide you to your highest soul expression. Trust you are supported and guided from within and going inwards is always the place to move forward from. Bit by bit connect in and trust you have the answers you are looking for in your life and see how, by connecting in, you develop a sturdiness and inner strength to shine in your life.

Jennifer Soran Boon is the author of Be the Change: A Healing And Empowering Handbook For Women