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Can I Adopt? 9 Common Misconceptions about Adoption

Can I Adopt? 9 Common Misconceptions about Adoption

Jadwiga Ball, CEO of Clifton Children’s Society (CCS) Adoption explains the impact of the new Government changes which are being brought in to make the adoption process easier, and dispels some of the myths around adoption. The Government Action Plan In response to the length of time that children were waiting in the care system for a new home, the government set up an expert working group in December 2011, comprising key partners from across the adoption sector to help redesign and speed up the process from initial enquiry through to assessment, with a view to...
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Adopting Siblings: Our New Family

Adopting Siblings: Our New Family

My husband and I have been together for nearly 17 years and married 11 years ago. Since marrying we had tried for a family but when it became clear that we wouldn’t be able to have biological children we both (separately) came to the conclusion that we would like to be considered as adoptive parents. I read information on the adoptive process and we approached our local authority and Clifton Children's Society, an adoption service who specialise in adopting siblings, for further information. After attending information sessions by both organizations we asked CCS to...
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Coping with a Relationship Crisis

Coping with a Relationship Crisis

When you are going through a relationship crisis and you don't know if the relationship is over, or if you are in fact dealing with the ending of a relationship, it's an incredibly difficult time. You may find yourself struggling to cope emotionally, which of course has an impact on your ability to deal with day-to-day life. At such times, some people find they have trouble sleeping or eating, while others may start to over indulge with food as a way to stuff down the feelings and numb the pain. Some people start to drink more than usual to block out their...
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Will My Marriage Work?

Will My Marriage Work?

I would argue that marriage has never been so terrifying a decision. Why? Because it's now emotionally-weighted in a way it's never been before. Historically, marriage was largely seen as a practical if affectionate mating - for children, financial stability and practical support. Now, we believe it will deliver the perfect emotional security, acceptance, fulfilment and love that we once thought God - when we believed in Him - would deliver. So our expectations of marriage are huge, our demands of it immense, Where our great-grandparents saw marrying as a Good...
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Don't Judge Me Because I'm Married

Don't Judge Me Because I'm Married

I got married when I was 21. I’m now 23…and still married – success! It’s a decision which has had a more profound effect on my sense of self than I ever imagined, which I realise might sound a little odd. When I told people I was getting married I was called insane, romantic (not always as a compliment), foolish, brave, and surely-pregnant. On the day itself,  I was called beautiful, so that’s all good. The time afterwards has easily been the most interesting, but I’ll get to that. My parents very vocally didn’t approve, so the month before became the worst...
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Cheating - Should You Confess?

Cheating - Should You Confess?

The illicit thrill of an infidelity may linger for a while, but often deeper and darker emotions such as guilt, even shame for the betrayal of a person we still love hang around for longer. The key question for many then is should I tell them, given that honesty is now considered paramount to relationships and key to trust. I don’t believe there is any one right answer because there is a huge difference between a drunken one night stand that means nothing (in which case why tell?) and a longer liaison where deceit and mixed emotions are in play. There are however...
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"Breaking up is Hard To Do"

"Breaking up is Hard To Do"

The moment when we end a relationship - or have an ending thrust upon us - is almost always exquisitely painful. But of course it's not just the moment of break up that hurts. The aftermath, as we recover, is arguably just as painful not least because it lasts longer - sometimes for years. After the early 'phoney war' of feeling convinced that reconciliation is just around the corner, or of feeling relieved that the vicious arguments are now over, it is then that the long-term suffering begins. Yes, some of us 'keep calm and carry on', and parting...
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Online Dating - the Secrets to Success

Online Dating - the Secrets to Success

I'm a huge fan of online dating. I have several friends and many clients who have found love that way. And when it works, it works well; a recent study suggests that couples who meet online are more likely to move successfully through the infamous 'seven year breakpoint' than couples who meet in traditional ways. But online dating is often challenging. For many, the journey, however hopefully started, often becomes a yo-yo of frustration and self-doubt as well as excitement and hope. In my work I've come to recognise 'online dating disillusionment' when I see...
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