Anxiety can feel like such a beast.

Its howls echo through your mind, filling you with scary thoughts, images, and memories. Its roars flood your bloodstream with stress hormones, causing your muscles to tighten and your heart rate and breathing to speed up. And its cries try to convince you to avoid things that feel important to you-like meeting new people or going on a first date.

It can feel like your anxiety beast is the villain in your life's story.

It doesn't help matters that you are surrounded by societal messages saying that you can cure, overcome, or eliminate anxiety if you think the right thoughts, drink the right potions, or live your life the right way! There are countless books, blogs, and gurus promising methods to forever rid you of anxiety. These promises are, indeed, enticing, but they are works of fiction that demonise a natural emotion.

Anxiety is not the villain of your life's story-though it may feel that way

Anxiety may feel like a beast, but just like in the fairytale Beauty and the Beast, your anxiety is actually a misunderstood hero. It can be loud and unpleasant to be around, but it means well. Its job is to protect you from ANYTHING it perceives to be a threat to you-whether that be the footsteps behind you in a dark alley or public speaking at work. Your beast is always trying to be of service to you.

All the great heroes, however, have a weakness. For Supergirl it is Kryptonite. Your anxiety beast's weakness is that it frequently misperceives relatively safe things as dangerous. It's not its fault. Your anxiety beast was developed for survival in the far distant and dangerous prehistoric past. Even today, your anxiety is at its' best when facing threats that are immediately present, apparent, and imminent, like the ones early humans faced regularly.

But change came very quickly to humans. The industrial revolution changed the human way of life and was only around two-hundred and fifty years ago-not even a grain of sand on the beach of time. Much more recently, the explosion of new technologies has even more radically transformed human life. There is 24-hour news, constant internet connectivity, smart phones, and social media. Our anxiety is still stuck in-Just pick up a large rock and beat the animal with sharp teeth on the head!!

Your anxiety beast is your lifelong companion

Humans are anxious animals. Having an over-sized prefrontal cortex means that we are aware of our place in the world, our status among others, our fragility, and our mortality - not things that other animals concern themselves with. Even with the most effective anxiety management strategies, you will remain a member of a species that worries about things!

Buying into the message that anxiety in itself is an opponent to be defeated at all costs only makes you anxious about being anxious. Trying to be anxiety-free and battling with your anxiety beast when it shows up to protect you only leads to more suffering. And running from or avoiding reasonably safe situations that awaken your anxiety beast is a recipe for developing an anxiety disorder-a clinical condition that can hold you back in life.

Changing your relationship with your anxiety beast

Instead of fighting or running from your anxiety, you can learn to have a more compassionate relationship with it. Rather than trying to evict it from your life, you can treat it with care, understanding that it is a glitchy inner bodyguard that is overzealous in its' pursuit of protecting you from threats. It just wants to help. By seeing it from a gentler lens, you are bringing in the soothing power of compassion rather than the intensifying effect of resistance and struggle.

Giving your anxiety beast a good home

Your anxiety lives within your nervous system. When your nervous system is agitated, your anxiety naturally howls louder. If you take better care of your nervous system, your anxiety beast will take better care of you at those times when life feels threatening.

For example, life during the Covid pandemic is naturally anxiety producing. Your anxiety beast wants to protect you from this unseen threat. All of the uncertainty these days naturally wakes up the anxiety beast in most of us.

If you've made a good home for your anxiety within your nervous system, you have chosen to:

• Prioritise sleep
• Exercise regularly
• Eat reasonably healthy foods
• Minimise stimulants like nicotine or caffeine
• Avoid alcohol the night before
• Practice mindfulness
• Spend time with loved ones
• And set a reasonable pace for your day