Reality Testing: Learning to Think Before You React
Aug 30, 2017
Joshua Miles
Aug 30, 2017
- It allows us to distinguish between what is real and what isn't
- It allows us to judge situations appropriately
- It allows us to notice our own feelings and what they mean
- It gives us a basis of comparison
- It allows us to improve how we react to situations
Reality testing is a concept initially devised by Sigmund Freud which is used by some therapists to assist clients in distinguishing their internal thoughts, feelings and ideas from the events, which are based within reality. In other words, it is the ability to see a situation for what it really is, rather than what one hopes or fears it might be. However the need for reality testing extends beyond a therapeutic setting and the need to appropriately distinguish our inner world from reality is something, which occurs in everyday life. Below are some examples of this.
Example
"I just said good morning to Jane in the hall this morning, but she didn_'t answer._ She must be mad at me for something I have done_."_
Reality
There may be many other explanations for this. She didn't see you, she was deep in thought or she is grumpy today and has a lot on her mind.
Example
"I just failed my first exam of the year. This must mean that I am now bound to fail the rest of my exams as well_."_
Reality
Failing at something initially, does not equate to a pattern of failure, and does not mean that things cannot improve or change in the future.
Why is reality testing important**?**
We all have thoughts and ideas, which can at points feel dominating, controlling or overwhelming and it can be easy for us to imagine the worst-case scenario. During times when we experience feelings and worries at a heightened level, we can begin to think negatively. Here are some reasons that reality testing is important in our everyday lives:
How to reality test
The ability to reality test in everyday situations can be learnt, and it is entirely possible to gain a new way of understanding our thought processes.
1 Be objective
See a situation from as many angles as possible
Take time to make a judgement about a situation, avoid rushing in with immediate thoughts
Remember that other people have their own thoughts and feelings regarding situations, and it is entirely possible you have misread the situation
Think and then react
Consider how you emotionally react to a situation
Are you reacting too greatly or not enough?
Think about how much emotion or feeling each situation truly requires.
Notice themes and patterns in your life, and work toward adjusting how you react
2 Seek external perspectives
If a situation occurs, and you are unsure which feeling to attribute to it - ask a friend for their perspective
Take a moment to consider the possible outcomes or meanings before coming to a conclusion
Remember, that you do not need to react right away, and that sometimes silence or time to reflect can be beneficial
What can happen if we don**'t reality test?**
If we do not give ourselves time to fact check our thoughts we allow the negative and damaging thoughts to seep in, and do not give ourselves the chance to check whether or not they are true, have validity or more importantly, whether they actually matter. Here are some common difficulties which can arise through not reality testing:
- Increased belief in negative thought about ourselves
- Becoming overwhelmed by thoughts
- Convincing ourselves we may be to blame for another person's actions
- Getting caught up in the dynamics of another person's thoughts
- We may decide to act differently due to how we perceive other people's reactions to us
Joshua Miles
Joshua Miles is a psychotherapist in North London
