Meet the Therapist: Clare Faulkner
Clare Faulkner is a sex and relationship therapist in W1G, London, and online
What attracted you to become a therapist?
As a psychology graduate, I was interested in understanding peoples’ inner worlds, to see what motivates their actions and behaviours. Human beings have huge potential and I became very interested in helping people clear and change limiting beliefs allowing them to release and free themselves from emotional blocks, bringing insight and a deeper understanding of behavioural patterns.
Where did you train?
I have a psychology degree from the University of Bristol and I continued my studies by completing the London Diploma in Psychosexual and Relationship Therapy (Middlesex University). I have also recently completed an MSc in Contemporary Psychosexual Therapy with the University of Hull. I deepened my couples training by becoming a Certified Imago Relationship Therapist (Imago Relationships International), and trained with AAMET and ITS as an EFT and NLP Practitioner.
Can you tell us about the type of therapy you practise?
I am a psychosexual and relationship therapist.
Psychosexual therapy is more commonly known as sex therapy; which is a talking therapy. It recognises the importance of the brain in sexual functioning. Thoughts, feelings and beliefs have a direct relationship with the body and its function. I work integratively with clients using a range of tools and techniques. Where appropriate I give couples or individuals behavioural exercises to work on at home.
How does relationship therapy help with communication issues?
Relationships with others form the cornerstone of human experience, and create a sense of wellbeing. Disharmony or breakdown in a relationship, whether intimate, social or in the workplace, is often the final straw that pushes people to seek help.
Frequently, by the time a relationship breaks down, we are no longer in a position to recognise the difference between the other person's emotions and behaviours and our own. The therapeutic process helps individuals to first re-connect with their own sense of personal identity.
In order to enjoy satisfying relationships with others, we need to be in a satisfactory relationship with ourselves. Those conflicts, which reside within us, are often painful and destructive to others and ourselves.
What sort of people do you usually see?
I work with individuals and couples to help build self-confidence, improve communication skills, and form better relationship with themselves and others. I work with a lot of international clients from a variety of backgrounds.
What do you like about being a therapist?
To witness the growth, change and strength of the human spirit. I feel extremely privileged to do the job I do.
What is less pleasant?
To see the deep pain and trauma that resides inside some people.
How long you’ve been with welldoing.org and what you think of us?
I’ve been with welldoing.org for a while now and I like the variety of referrals I’ve had. It is a vibrant community with a vast amount of information for clients and practitioners.
Do you ever suggest books or apps to clients?
I suggest books, apps, workshops and courses where I feel these recommendations are appropriate. I am keen for clients to continue the work outside of sessions to empower them to take the lead in their process.
What you do for your own mental health?
Self-care is an important part of my work as a practitioner. I have a daily meditation practice and do light exercise. I have regular supervision and my own therapist and enjoy time with my family and friends.
You are a therapist in W1G, London what can you share with us about seeing clients in this area?
As I am a therapist in Central London I see a lot of professional people who come either before work on in their breaks. I have a large online practice which invites a lot of overseas clients especially from countries where sex and relationship therapy is sparse.
What’s your consultation room like?
It is tranquil, peaceful and calm, offering a real contrast to the hustle and bustle of the streets outside.
What do you wish people knew about therapy?
I would like to reframe the idea that seeking therapy illustrates a deficit or problem. For me it’s about health and vibrancy, especially in the couple dynamic. We are rarely taught about healthy relationships, and fewer people have had them modelled so for me therapy should be seen as a normal way to establish healthy relational patterns ideally sought at the start of a relationship when motivation is high.
What did you learn about yourself in therapy?
I have learnt so much about myself both as an individual and someone in relationship. I have had therapy on and off for 20 years with a variety of practitioners and have gained insight and knowledge from each experience.
