Meet the Coach: Eleanor Marker
Eleanor Marker is a life coach in Carmarthenshire and online
What attracted you to become a coach?
I wanted a path where I could help people in their everyday lives. For me, there is no better job than helping someone turn their perspective on life around or helping a couple shift their approach to their relationship.
My approach to coaching combines the scientific rigour of therapy with the real life application of tried-and-tested techniques and for me this combination of theory and practice is where the attraction lies.
Where did you train?
I got my MSc in Psychotherapy from the New School of Psychotherapy and Counselling here in the UK, and was lucky enough to study under Professor Emmy Van Deurzen, Britain’s leading existentialist psychologist and therapist.
From there, I became an accredited member of the Association for Coaching and have been offering transformational life coaching ever since.
What kind of coaching do you offer?
My coaching is all about turning negatives to positives! So I offer online transformational coaching, in both 1:1 and couples sessions. These focus on tackling negative thought patterns and engrained negative behaviours, and I use these same approaches in my couples coaching to help build more connected and positive relationships.
How does your style of transformational coaching help individuals and couples?
- Firstly, we identify the issues that are causing problems
- Then we explore the background and context to these issues
- At the same time, we work together with simple and practical techniques to overcome the issues on a day-to-day level
- Finally, we work on building up a toolbox of lasting techniques and approaches that each client can use to continue to improve their life and / or relationship.
This way we work together to break long standing cycles of negative thoughts and behaviours, both individually and as a couple. It is a very empowering and collaborative process, with the ultimate aim being a client who feels fully able to leave coaching knowing exactly what they need to do to continue the improvements they see during our sessions.
What sort of coaching clients do you usually see?
I work with clients of all ages, ranging from 18-80, both individually and also as a couple. My only criteria is that they must want to make an active change to their lives and not mind a bit of homework each week!
Do you ever suggest books or other materials to clients?
Actually, not really! I very much see it as part of my role to keep an eye on the latest neuroscience and psychological studies, and to stay up to date with relevant resources and research material. Then I bring that knowledge into the sessions and use the elements that I think will be helpful for each client. I guess this way I do the heavy lifting so they don’t have to!
What do you like about being a coach?
I love people, in all their variances and vulnerabilities and challenges. It is a constant pleasure and privilege to form a close therapeutic relationship with my clients and to be able to offer them a supportive and non-judgemental space.
Every person is unique and wonderful, and it is a joy to help them to see their own value and to recognise their potential.
What is less pleasant?
I am a bit of a technophobe so find anything tech related a bit of a pain. Zoom is about the extent of my technical prowess – I’m definitely much more of a pen and paper person!
What is one life lesson you try to live by?
I believe that the single most important lesson to live by is to remember that, even when we feel we have little or no control, we can still choose how we respond to life. That isn’t to say that we should blindly ignore the negatives around us, but it means that we get to choose how we create our reality, what we give focus to and what we choose to relegate to the sidelines as unimportant.
By doing this, we can take charge of how life seems to us and, in this way, we can then take charge of how life actually is. It’s a hugely powerful approach.
What do you wish people knew about coaching?
Not all life coaches are created equally! There are so many different coaches, all with different backgrounds, qualifications and experience. And this is amazing, as it ensures that there is someone for everyone. So take your time, read up on the coach, take advantage of the free introductory sessions and don’t be afraid to shop around.
Life coaching is totally reliant on a good therapeutic relationship, so take your time and choose the coach whose sessions really resonate with you.
Do you have a favourite client testimonial or particular success story?
I worked with a client last year who came to me feeling completely lost. She had tried therapy, CBT, anti-depressants, hypnotherapy … and still every day she could barely raise the enthusiasm to get out of bed. She felt totally helpless. When we started working together, for each session I asked her to score her average mood out of ten. She started at 1s and 2s. Within a month, she was rating her mood as on average 5 or 6 out of 10.
By the end of our time together, she never dropped below a 9. In our last session, I read her some of the things she had said to me in our very first call and she said, “I don’t even recognise that person. It’s like it was a shadow me. And now I feel like I’m truly me, the real me, and most importantly I know how to stay that way too.”
Sometimes, you can feel like all hope is lost, and my job is to show you that it isn’t. And, to me, that’s the best job in the world.
