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Why is There So Much Anxiety?

Why is There So Much Anxiety?

Given that we enjoy longer and healthier lives, why are so many of us suffering from anxiety? We do live in an increasingly competitive society. We are bombarded with images of ‘success’. Are we thin enough, handsome enough, rich enough, and clever enough?  We readily use words like ‘success’ and ‘failure’, yet what do these terms really mean? It doesn’t occur to us that these ordinary concerns might be a symbolic reflection of our anxiety about mortality. In my work as a therapist I have come to understand that, often, underlying our deepest anxieties are...
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Lymphatic Drainage Massage

Lymphatic Drainage Massage

What is it good for? This deceptively gentle treatment can have a powerful effect on any swelling or puffiness in the body. It is widely used for medical purposes and there is lots of research to back the beneficial effects of lymphatic drainage on recovery after surgery. It has also been found to be effective for: Helping bruising to heal more quickly Pain management Preventing infection Treating lymphedema caused by cancer treatment Promoting the healing of fractures and ligaments and reducing the associated pain Promoting the healing of...
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Top 5 Sea Retreats

Top 5 Sea Retreats

Go with your lover to the Maldives Spa time at Constance Halaveli (above) If my husband and I ever won the lottery, it’s the Maldives we’d head to first, to have treatments, drink champagne and plan our new life together. There are all sorts of glamorous retreats out there, but we rather liked Constance Halaveli in the Ari Atoll, a civilised island with mahogany-lined over-water villas, exceptionally good Balinese therapists (ask for Ayu) in the over-water U Spa by Constance and delectable seafood (we got addicted to the reef fish balls). Hang out in the hot pools...
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The Psychology of Fashion

The Psychology of Fashion

As the seasons change they bring with them hosts of new choices about what to wear.  How to manage to look chic and stay warm? And, as life gets busier, how not to over-heat physically or emotionally. The selection of something to put on is not just an aesthetic or practical decision. It’s also about what suits our mood. On a minute-by-minute basis, we are assailed by a range of emotions. And every morning we make a decision about what to wear. The two are closely connected. The selection of something to put on is not just an aesthetic or practical decision. It’s...
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Surviving Redundancy

Surviving Redundancy

The devastation of being made redundant can leave you freewheeling emotionally for months – even years. It’s very natural for people facing redundancy, regardless of whether it was expected or not, to go through a process of grief similar to bereavement. In his book, Winning Through Redundancy, Steve Preston describes the five main impacts. 1. Shock, denial and anger – why me? 2. Fear of the unknown – will I get another job, and can I survive financially? 3. Loss of confidence and self-esteem – do I have any value? 4. Loss of self-control – now the...
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5 Ways to Cope with Addiction in the Family

5 Ways to Cope with Addiction in the Family

By the time I met Lucy, she was desperate. Her much-loved only son, Ben, had started using drugs while at school, and by the age of seventeen was addicted to heroin. Lucy knew Ben was wasting his life, but more than that she was terrified that the drugs would kill him. Lucy and her husband Chris ‘panicked’ when they found out. They put Ben into a private rehab, but within days of leaving he was using again.  He stole from them, and then lied about it. By this point Chris wanted to throw Ben out, but Lucy could not stand the thought of her son living on the...
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Lomi-Lomi Massage

Lomi-Lomi Massage

What is it good for? Some people say Lomi-lomi is the best massage they’ve ever had. It will do all the things a regular massage will do, like: Reduce stress Improve circulation Relieve muscle tension Reduce pain Make you very relaxed And then take you to a totally different planet. It’s like Reiki healing combined with the best holistic massage. What happens in a treatment? Your therapist will find out about what issues you have and if any areas of your body will need specific attention. So far, so ordinary. Now this is where...
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Losing My Twins at 23 Weeks

Losing My Twins at 23 Weeks

Grief never really goes away completely. The best we can do is live at peace with the memories of our loss, or maybe even be lucky enough to derive nourishment and pleasure from them. But even if you reach such a hazy resolution in this way, it can re-emerge at full force when you least expect it to knock you down again. Or at least that's my experience of losing my two babies 12 years ago, born too early to survive in the world outside my womb. I'd had a time of it getting pregnant in the first place, with irregular menstrual cycles from polycystic ovary syndrome,...
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The Psychology of a One-Night Stand

The Psychology of a One-Night Stand

The stereotype of a one-night stand is a brutally selfish, egoistically satisfied male, and a woman shamed by regret and disappointment. Yet a memorable counter offensive was launched more than 40 years ago when Erica Jong, in her novel Fear of Flying, celebrated a female fantasy where “zippers fell away like rose petals, underwear blew off in one breath like dandelion fluff”. And, with the subsiding ecstasy, your partner melted away, freeing you both from embarrassment and commitment. For many men and women, this is the promise of a one-night stand.  The “zipless...
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