​In a spontaneous decision which surprised me nearly as much as my friends, I decided to go sober for October. Bye bye lovely morning cigarette and evening glass of wine. 

It was a struggle at first, not the alcohol so much as the cigarettes. Apparently I have a little angry dude living in the middle of my head who gets awful antsy without a regular hit. I didn't even realise I was that hooked (how naive), but headaches, tiredness and grumpiness ensued. 

I have had to avoid all things I associate with smoking, so giving up alcohol at the same time has been extremely helpful. It has also meant saying goodbye to coffee, so this is turning out to be even more of a health kick than anticipated. I was a no-show for the rugby at the weekend, making it to the pub door before turning around, apologising to my friends for my weakness and going home to watch a movie. It was too soon to be toying with temptation, especially not for the rugby.

One week in and I'm feeling pretty in control and resolute about it - the headaches have gone and it's quite liberating not to have to hunt around my messy bag for the lighter I always lose. It is liberating also because I started smoking at a very stressful time in my life, as many do. Putting out the cigarettes feels like I am acknowledging that this stress has finally started to subside. My step feels lighter, my wallet feels heavier. The world looks to be in much higher definition - but I guess that makes sense when you aren't peering through a cloud of smoke. 

But I might be getting ahead of myself. In a couple of weeks my cousin is getting married. If you don't see another post from me you can assume I am hanging my head in shame, with a great big hangover. If I do write another update, I'll try not to sound too pleased with myself.

Incidentally, you can forswear alcohol for October and raise money for Macmillan Cancer Support at the same time. 

GoSober Macmillan